Yeah that was a little fuckin scary. My fat ass collected more fat and at one point I was 205. But I checked today and now I'm back to 195, so I don't know what the fuck is going on, but I'm sticking to fruit and vegetables for now. And some bread.
I'm thinking of seriously pursuing stand up comedy. Not serious as in "FUCK SCHOOL," but serious as in "hey I should give this a shot, keep my options open,". People say i'm funny, I know i'm funny, and I am always talking to my self in the shower about weird shit. What I would have to do is go onstage without my glasses. Then I can't see anyone, and it's liek they're not even there. They don't exist, I just hear people talking. Then I can fall off the stage and get in a coma hey cool! Yeah!
Because I'm a little iffy with music. Right now it's my major, but more and more I'm thinking "god fuck music...I don't want to be doing this in college." I don't want to get graded for it. I don't know; it's just stressful as a nigga. I gotta stop saying nigga. Nigga.
I go to college on the 22nd. I talked to my roommate. He seems like a so cal bro, but it's all good. I'd a snobby San Francisco douche so it's good for me to expand my horizons. I don't expect to be best friends with the guy but it can't hurt to be on good terms.
I'm going to miss my cat, I realized. She's getting old. She can't jump on surfaces very well anymore. She's the best. When you die, you're going on up to kitty heaven, you'll have a seat next to Kitty Jesus. Where are you anyway, I'm going to wake you up and annoy you with kisses.
I'm going camping with my friends before we all leave. I hate camping. I'm going to bring whiskey to numb the pain of mosquitos gnawing at my leg.
I'm reading Pastouralia by George Saunders. I was told to read this in Junior year of highschool because my teacher said I write like him, but I was too lazy. Walked to City Lights the other day and finally got it, it's great. A lot of good stories in there.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
i hate my friends
all of them
i hate all of them lol. I don't like any of my friends. Which is good i guess because im going to college and making new ones.
In the meantime it's either hang out with my dick head friends who at this point are not my friends or do nothing.
And I hate my fucking mom. I hate how she fucking patronizes me. and she wonder why I get upset.
I have to do an alcohol test online for college, the due date is august 14th, iot takes 3 hours to complete. I tell her, "alright im gonna stop for now". and then she asks,
i hate all of them lol. I don't like any of my friends. Which is good i guess because im going to college and making new ones.
In the meantime it's either hang out with my dick head friends who at this point are not my friends or do nothing.
And I hate my fucking mom. I hate how she fucking patronizes me. and she wonder why I get upset.
I have to do an alcohol test online for college, the due date is august 14th, iot takes 3 hours to complete. I tell her, "alright im gonna stop for now". and then she asks,
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Fuck all of you
Deceitful bastards
fuck all of you
fuck michael, fuck richard, fuck rayz, fuck oshj, fuck all of you
never done shit for me, i done shit for you
fuck all of you.
love, me
FUCK ALL OF YOU
THOUGHT YOU WAS MY FRIENDS, FUCK ALL OF YOU
fuck all of you
fuck michael, fuck richard, fuck rayz, fuck oshj, fuck all of you
never done shit for me, i done shit for you
fuck all of you.
love, me
FUCK ALL OF YOU
THOUGHT YOU WAS MY FRIENDS, FUCK ALL OF YOU
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Fastest Verion of Supa_Sonic EVER!!!!!!!!
Okay so in Oil Ocean Zone there's this glitch where if you jump in this thing then blah blah watch the video:
OMG.
This is, by far, faster than ANY incarnation of Super/Hyper/SuperDooper Sonic I have ever seen. and the best part is, it's in Sonic 2, my favorite game of the series. And this is in NO WAY going to improve my social skills or get me a woman, but I'm having to much fun to think about it.
Now my next task is to figure out if there is a way to duplicate this glitch in other levels, because Oil Ocean Zone sucks. No one likes this level. If they do they are fucking pussies.
Also, look at this.
OMG.
This is, by far, faster than ANY incarnation of Super/Hyper/SuperDooper Sonic I have ever seen. and the best part is, it's in Sonic 2, my favorite game of the series. And this is in NO WAY going to improve my social skills or get me a woman, but I'm having to much fun to think about it.
Now my next task is to figure out if there is a way to duplicate this glitch in other levels, because Oil Ocean Zone sucks. No one likes this level. If they do they are fucking pussies.
Also, look at this.
192 Nigga!!!!
YEUH.
I HAVEN'T even POOPED yet! I'm constipated! When I take a dump, I'll be 180!!!
The comments keep comin, I'll feeling good, this is a great time for me right now.
I HAVEN'T even POOPED yet! I'm constipated! When I take a dump, I'll be 180!!!
The comments keep comin, I'll feeling good, this is a great time for me right now.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Tragedy at the Fountain
I am writing down this event just for the sake of memory. I have moved on, but in 10 years it will be good to look at it.
********************************
Two days after graduation, I went to a friend's graduation party. It was nice, there were brownies, and after the party a friend of mine told me that these girls were celebrating their friend's birthday party, so we decided to join them.
So it was Michael, Myself, Billy, Turtle and Josh (i keep forgetting what I call my friends), and we met up with these girls and it was an interesting drunken night. This girl who I have known since kindergarten, Lion, came up to me, and we talked and drank and she took sips from my booze. And I felt something there. It was faint but it was there.
And we continued to walk until we got into the arboretum, and then we hung out there and drank and smoked cigarettes like there was no tomorrow, blah blah. Lion and I continued to talk, to bond, and I stupidly revealed that I was a virgin. I know. "NICE ONE". I have kicked myself enough for it. But we continued to talk and she told me I ought to go to a theater and see some film that is probably awful but I would have seen it 1,000 times for her. God I'm such a poet.
Meanwhile Billy was talking to someone else, not part of my conversation with Lion, and I paid no attention to him because I was preoccupied. So I decided to go with Lion and some other girls and Billy and this very strange boy we shall call Lucifer (he scares me) into the arboretum, which is against the law but who cares because we're young hip free angsty teenagers.
So during this, some how, Billy began to get closer to Lion. I didn't even realize it, it happened so fast. But somehow he was conjoined with her, and they were inseparable, and I tried numerous times to pull him away and tell him to fuck off but I never went through with it because I knew she was interested at this point.
And then we got to the fountain. And it was beautiful. And we all waded in the water, and as I turned my back, they got close together, and I turned and saw their faces were centimeters away from each other, and that's when I knew, "Oh man. It's over. You can forget it because there's no chance in hell you're going to remedy the situation after that..."
So we walked back and I saw them hang back, but I tried to cockblock. I really, really tried. "Billy, let's go". He said nothing. "BILLY COME ON". "Alright dude in a minute, go ahead!". And that was it.
In my stupidity and rage I pulled her friend aside, and I asked her if Lion had a boyfriend. "Uh..well...she and Billy are doing something." And I died there. I really just died, lol. Game over. The end. You have no more coins.
We all walked back from the arboretum, wet, jolly and over all in a high spirits. and we all said our good byes, and I said "yeah we're gonna see that movie together!" and blah blah and ho hum and during all of this she gave me her number, and I thought it strange but I ignored it.
Then Billy and I turned the corner, and I flipped.
"GOD DAMNIT. HOW COULD YOU. HOW COULD YOU FUCKING DO THAT."
He was confused. "Dude, I didn't know you were into her!" Of course you didn't know. You underestimated me. I have been a loyal, compassionate friend for almost a decade, and you never once thought that I had the potential to be anything but a homely wingman. Of course you didn't know.
And I vented, and kicked things, and unleashed my wrath on everything but Billy. Our friends picked us up in the car and drove to Turtle's house, and they asked me why I wasn't saying anything, and I just gritted my teeth and glared with all my rage at the oncoming traffic from my window. In the morning I left early, angry and hurt, and I set off on foot for the journey home. At some point I lost the will to move. I was walking and I realized I couldn't walk anymore. I had to sit on the ground and stare sadly into the street, and you might find this pathetic but I really thought I had something going for me because I FELT something and then it was completely ruined.
Almost a month later, my wounds have healed, but she continues to inhabit my dreams. I wrote a song about the whole ordeal (without words, thank god), with sad brooding guitar, and I'm quite pleased with it. It was theraputic.
I decided to throw a party for my birthday, and I invited Billy, under the condition that he would never mention his relationship with Lion in front of me and that he WOULD NOT partake in romantic embrace on my property. He agreed. Had he said anything different, I would have hunted him down and cracked him in the face.
People began to show up, and pretty soon it was a bustlin party. I went to the door to let some people in, and I saw her blond head behind someone else arriving. She hadn;t seen me. I saw Billy walk up to her and hug her (not the kind of embrace I have a problem with) and I ignored both of them and went outside.
She was drunk. She came to the outside where I was sitting, and she tried to initiate conversation. The only courtesy I gave her was lighting her ciggerette. A friend of mine commented. "You're such a gentleman." I just stared at him and mentally projected the Tragedy at the Fountain into his mind, but he did not recieve it.
Throughout the night I was rude to her. She spilled her bottle. "Oh, did your water break?" and then I walked away. As the part was shutting down, I told people "everyone needs to get out my 12:00, understand?" She tapped my shoulder. "Hey Simon, you know me, we go back a long way, can I stay just a little lon-"
"No. I can't make any exceptions." And I gave her a cold glare and walked away again. I heard her let out a surprised laugh with her friend. I don't give a fuck. You hurt me bitch, you have no idea, and you have a whole lot of nerve in your ovaries to come to my house uninvited.
Not that any of this is her fault, it's Billy's. But it felt good, to banish her from my feelings, as well as my home. I never even kissed her, yet I felt like a scornful ex casting out their former lover, moving on. I am moving on, but I will always remember that horrible night. That was the night I tried; when I had so much hope, only to get a rejection accompanied with a stab in the back. And that fucking fountain. All fountains are ruined for me now. Seriously.
********************************
Two days after graduation, I went to a friend's graduation party. It was nice, there were brownies, and after the party a friend of mine told me that these girls were celebrating their friend's birthday party, so we decided to join them.
So it was Michael, Myself, Billy, Turtle and Josh (i keep forgetting what I call my friends), and we met up with these girls and it was an interesting drunken night. This girl who I have known since kindergarten, Lion, came up to me, and we talked and drank and she took sips from my booze. And I felt something there. It was faint but it was there.
And we continued to walk until we got into the arboretum, and then we hung out there and drank and smoked cigarettes like there was no tomorrow, blah blah. Lion and I continued to talk, to bond, and I stupidly revealed that I was a virgin. I know. "NICE ONE". I have kicked myself enough for it. But we continued to talk and she told me I ought to go to a theater and see some film that is probably awful but I would have seen it 1,000 times for her. God I'm such a poet.
Meanwhile Billy was talking to someone else, not part of my conversation with Lion, and I paid no attention to him because I was preoccupied. So I decided to go with Lion and some other girls and Billy and this very strange boy we shall call Lucifer (he scares me) into the arboretum, which is against the law but who cares because we're young hip free angsty teenagers.
So during this, some how, Billy began to get closer to Lion. I didn't even realize it, it happened so fast. But somehow he was conjoined with her, and they were inseparable, and I tried numerous times to pull him away and tell him to fuck off but I never went through with it because I knew she was interested at this point.
And then we got to the fountain. And it was beautiful. And we all waded in the water, and as I turned my back, they got close together, and I turned and saw their faces were centimeters away from each other, and that's when I knew, "Oh man. It's over. You can forget it because there's no chance in hell you're going to remedy the situation after that..."
So we walked back and I saw them hang back, but I tried to cockblock. I really, really tried. "Billy, let's go". He said nothing. "BILLY COME ON". "Alright dude in a minute, go ahead!". And that was it.
In my stupidity and rage I pulled her friend aside, and I asked her if Lion had a boyfriend. "Uh..well...she and Billy are doing something." And I died there. I really just died, lol. Game over. The end. You have no more coins.
We all walked back from the arboretum, wet, jolly and over all in a high spirits. and we all said our good byes, and I said "yeah we're gonna see that movie together!" and blah blah and ho hum and during all of this she gave me her number, and I thought it strange but I ignored it.
Then Billy and I turned the corner, and I flipped.
"GOD DAMNIT. HOW COULD YOU. HOW COULD YOU FUCKING DO THAT."
He was confused. "Dude, I didn't know you were into her!" Of course you didn't know. You underestimated me. I have been a loyal, compassionate friend for almost a decade, and you never once thought that I had the potential to be anything but a homely wingman. Of course you didn't know.
And I vented, and kicked things, and unleashed my wrath on everything but Billy. Our friends picked us up in the car and drove to Turtle's house, and they asked me why I wasn't saying anything, and I just gritted my teeth and glared with all my rage at the oncoming traffic from my window. In the morning I left early, angry and hurt, and I set off on foot for the journey home. At some point I lost the will to move. I was walking and I realized I couldn't walk anymore. I had to sit on the ground and stare sadly into the street, and you might find this pathetic but I really thought I had something going for me because I FELT something and then it was completely ruined.
Almost a month later, my wounds have healed, but she continues to inhabit my dreams. I wrote a song about the whole ordeal (without words, thank god), with sad brooding guitar, and I'm quite pleased with it. It was theraputic.
I decided to throw a party for my birthday, and I invited Billy, under the condition that he would never mention his relationship with Lion in front of me and that he WOULD NOT partake in romantic embrace on my property. He agreed. Had he said anything different, I would have hunted him down and cracked him in the face.
People began to show up, and pretty soon it was a bustlin party. I went to the door to let some people in, and I saw her blond head behind someone else arriving. She hadn;t seen me. I saw Billy walk up to her and hug her (not the kind of embrace I have a problem with) and I ignored both of them and went outside.
She was drunk. She came to the outside where I was sitting, and she tried to initiate conversation. The only courtesy I gave her was lighting her ciggerette. A friend of mine commented. "You're such a gentleman." I just stared at him and mentally projected the Tragedy at the Fountain into his mind, but he did not recieve it.
Throughout the night I was rude to her. She spilled her bottle. "Oh, did your water break?" and then I walked away. As the part was shutting down, I told people "everyone needs to get out my 12:00, understand?" She tapped my shoulder. "Hey Simon, you know me, we go back a long way, can I stay just a little lon-"
"No. I can't make any exceptions." And I gave her a cold glare and walked away again. I heard her let out a surprised laugh with her friend. I don't give a fuck. You hurt me bitch, you have no idea, and you have a whole lot of nerve in your ovaries to come to my house uninvited.
Not that any of this is her fault, it's Billy's. But it felt good, to banish her from my feelings, as well as my home. I never even kissed her, yet I felt like a scornful ex casting out their former lover, moving on. I am moving on, but I will always remember that horrible night. That was the night I tried; when I had so much hope, only to get a rejection accompanied with a stab in the back. And that fucking fountain. All fountains are ruined for me now. Seriously.
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