I planned a bonfire with Sally, unbeknownst to my friend Sam, who is probably fucking her brains out right.....now.
Anyhow, I showed up with some friends, and it already looked grim: Sally was there, her Ex, his Friends, and this annoying girl who looks like a penguin.
"Great," I thought. We'll have a fun ass time, all 7 of us, and I'll be able to mack on her while she sits on her Ex's lap.
Sam finds out about the bonfire and makes his appearance after more friends have showed up. If I didn't say this earlier, Sam is planning to hook up with Sally, today, and this was yesterday. So Sam says what's up to me, etc, and then he sees Sally.
He sees that Sally is drunker than an Indian that fell headfirst into a bucket of whiskey, and he gets excited.
"Oh boy, I'm about to get ym dick sucked!" Then he realizes I'm right there, and that I still like Sally a lot, and "apologizes".
"Oh my bad man," He sees me take a sip of my drink and says, "Yeah, there you go. Drown your sorrows." I got pissed and told him to fuck off.
Later I pull Sam aside and tell him why this is so hard for me. If it had been any other guy that swooped in on her, I would've been sad, but able to recuperate. The fact that Sam is that guy is all the more sickening. I also told him why I care so much, partly because I'm infatuated with her and partly because I want to leave highschool with at least a first kiss to put on my resume. He respectfully understood, and said he felt bad.
I looked at her, and she was a drunken fool. Then she comes up to us, sobbing, and says, "I'm so sorry for everything, I just, I just don't want you to hate me," and I was genuinely disturbed.
"No, no, it's fine, don't worry about it!" I pleaded, not understanding what she was talking about. Then she walked away and moaned and laughed and did all sorts of stupid shit, and that's when I remembered Michael's quote:
"Sally is not a romantic. She doesn't understand the concept, she prefers brief flings and romances, and she won't love you back; not like you love her"
From there it all went downhill. I decided to walk away from the group, sit down, pull my hoody over my eyes, and drink myself into submission.
Friends came over to me, trying to make me feel better. I was defeated, totally and entirely, like somebody took my will to live and crushed it in their hands.
Sally even came up to me, pulled my hoody from out of my face and asked me what's wrong, babbling and such. I didn't say anything, I just stared out misrebly into the distance.
Then she put the hoody over my eyes and forgot about me.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
A Change Is Gonna Come -Sam Cooke
I never really appreciated this song until I learned the story behind it
Cooke wrote it as an answer to Dylan's "Blowin in the Wind", a symbol of the Civil Rights struggle, but I see it differently
The message is very human; everyone can relate to this song
I suppose this is why it has aged so well
Gives me chills every time.
Cooke wrote it as an answer to Dylan's "Blowin in the Wind", a symbol of the Civil Rights struggle, but I see it differently
The message is very human; everyone can relate to this song
I suppose this is why it has aged so well
Gives me chills every time.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Rumors
I told my friend, who we'll call Hero, about my situation with Sam and Sally.
He said, "Don't worry dude, she's not that into him."
I was astounded.
Can it be?
I asked him.
"What do you know!"
Apparently Hero was hanging around school with Sally and this boy called Fool (the guy is a lovable idiot). The three of them were talking about various things, and Fool said, quiet bluntly, as this is his nature, "you know Sam's hella trying to get on you, right?"
Hero says that Sally said she didn't see Sam like that, certianly not as a love interest.
I was temporarily overjoyed when I heard this, but then I asked Hero when this happened.
"Idk. Like 2 weeks ago..."
Fuck
A lot can happen in 2 weeks...
And Sampson is persistant, always sitting with her, talking. Now that he knows I know, I feel like I can't ever talk to her without him being there.
Sampson didn't say a word to me today. I thought he was mad but Michael told me he popped Dextrose before coming to school, and the side effect is paranoia and anger. I guess that explains his mood.
At first I was heartbroken over Sally and sad that she might hook up with my friend, now I just want to flick him out of the way. Starting to piss me off.
I mean FUCK.
Sampson has had plenty of sexual experience. I have none. Sampson's gotten his dick sucked numerous times. I've never kissed a girl.
I NEED THIS MORE THAN HE DOES.
I'M MORE DESERVING OF HER.
I'M BETTER FOR HER THAN HE IS.
If I don't start soon, when will I? College? Find some desperate med student who wants a quick fuck, and mark it off my list?
Sally is tender. Cute. Adorable. Funny. Curvy. An anomaly, as she's not very popular but one of the finest girls at our school.
I hate everyone.
and fuck you too, stupid bitch
He said, "Don't worry dude, she's not that into him."
I was astounded.
Can it be?
I asked him.
"What do you know!"
Apparently Hero was hanging around school with Sally and this boy called Fool (the guy is a lovable idiot). The three of them were talking about various things, and Fool said, quiet bluntly, as this is his nature, "you know Sam's hella trying to get on you, right?"
Hero says that Sally said she didn't see Sam like that, certianly not as a love interest.
I was temporarily overjoyed when I heard this, but then I asked Hero when this happened.
"Idk. Like 2 weeks ago..."
Fuck
A lot can happen in 2 weeks...
And Sampson is persistant, always sitting with her, talking. Now that he knows I know, I feel like I can't ever talk to her without him being there.
Sampson didn't say a word to me today. I thought he was mad but Michael told me he popped Dextrose before coming to school, and the side effect is paranoia and anger. I guess that explains his mood.
At first I was heartbroken over Sally and sad that she might hook up with my friend, now I just want to flick him out of the way. Starting to piss me off.
I mean FUCK.
Sampson has had plenty of sexual experience. I have none. Sampson's gotten his dick sucked numerous times. I've never kissed a girl.
I NEED THIS MORE THAN HE DOES.
I'M MORE DESERVING OF HER.
I'M BETTER FOR HER THAN HE IS.
- Sam jokes around with her. I can make her laugh, hard.
- Sam just wants her pussy. I want to make her happy.
- Sam doesn't see past, "a couple of hookups". I want to form a relationship, I want to treat her right.
If I don't start soon, when will I? College? Find some desperate med student who wants a quick fuck, and mark it off my list?
Sally is tender. Cute. Adorable. Funny. Curvy. An anomaly, as she's not very popular but one of the finest girls at our school.
I hate everyone.
and fuck you too, stupid bitch
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Oh....
Apparently, Sampson and Sally are going to have an all day drug fest, says Michael.
She called him two nights ago.
Michael told me that if he wasn't hanging out with Sampson, Sampson would have gone to her house.
I guess none of this matters anymore.
From now until the end, it's eating, walking, music, and writing. Because I hate everyone.
She called him two nights ago.
Michael told me that if he wasn't hanging out with Sampson, Sampson would have gone to her house.
I guess none of this matters anymore.
From now until the end, it's eating, walking, music, and writing. Because I hate everyone.
I'm 208 Pounds!
So far I've lost 9 pounds, from 217 last week to 208 this morning. And I'm still going!
I'm fucking proud of myself. Last night I went with some friends to this girl's Hotel Birthday party. We got there, the room was incredibly small, and not sick. So I drank some Southern Comfort and just let things take their course.
After an hour we left, and in my drunken urges I said "dude let's get burritos!" Well, luckily one of my friends stopped to get Pizza. Across the street was a shittier pizza place, Cybelle's, and I remembered they had salads, so I went over there and got one.
To top it off, I walked home today. I'm forming good habits!
Unfortunately, there's a deviation in my romantic plans: I talked to my friend, who we will call Sampson, because that sounds funny, and I asked him what his status was with this girl, who we will call Sally.
Apperantly Sampson was planning to hook up with Sally next weekend, and had no idea I was interested. Obviously I was crushed.
Sampson: "Aww...fuck man I didn't know you were trying to get with her."
Me: Yeah, but it's cool man, I mean, I'm gonna take her to prom....what's your longterm plans with her?
Sampson: Oh, I'm just gonna hook up, that's all. I'm not taking her to prom. I'm glad you told me now rather than later...like I'm glad we talked a little about this.
Me: yeah...
Sampson: Ay, are you hella pissed?
I wasn't pissed, more just defeated, because Sampson is one of my closest niggaz and because I really had my hearts set on this girl. But he already had his own plan, before mine.
As I left the party, he said we should talk about it later. I don't know what we can resolve, but I have some selfish assumptions about his plan.
1. Sampson is short. Very short. Like 5'3". I'm 6'4". She's probably like 5'7". He's good looking, but he's still a small fella.
2. Because of his shortness, girls tend to act like he's just a close friend. It sucks for him, but in this case it helps me. Although I'm still like a friend to her as well...
I can't just tell him not to hook up, after all, he was looking to do it before I was and he's the homie.
So now I'm just conflicted.....
Are we going to share her? Am I just being a pussy? Should I claim her? Do either of us have a chance at claiming her?
Fuck balls.
tit ass shit water
I hate everyone
I'm fucking proud of myself. Last night I went with some friends to this girl's Hotel Birthday party. We got there, the room was incredibly small, and not sick. So I drank some Southern Comfort and just let things take their course.
After an hour we left, and in my drunken urges I said "dude let's get burritos!" Well, luckily one of my friends stopped to get Pizza. Across the street was a shittier pizza place, Cybelle's, and I remembered they had salads, so I went over there and got one.
To top it off, I walked home today. I'm forming good habits!
Unfortunately, there's a deviation in my romantic plans: I talked to my friend, who we will call Sampson, because that sounds funny, and I asked him what his status was with this girl, who we will call Sally.
Apperantly Sampson was planning to hook up with Sally next weekend, and had no idea I was interested. Obviously I was crushed.
Sampson: "Aww...fuck man I didn't know you were trying to get with her."
Me: Yeah, but it's cool man, I mean, I'm gonna take her to prom....what's your longterm plans with her?
Sampson: Oh, I'm just gonna hook up, that's all. I'm not taking her to prom. I'm glad you told me now rather than later...like I'm glad we talked a little about this.
Me: yeah...
Sampson: Ay, are you hella pissed?
I wasn't pissed, more just defeated, because Sampson is one of my closest niggaz and because I really had my hearts set on this girl. But he already had his own plan, before mine.
As I left the party, he said we should talk about it later. I don't know what we can resolve, but I have some selfish assumptions about his plan.
1. Sampson is short. Very short. Like 5'3". I'm 6'4". She's probably like 5'7". He's good looking, but he's still a small fella.
2. Because of his shortness, girls tend to act like he's just a close friend. It sucks for him, but in this case it helps me. Although I'm still like a friend to her as well...
I can't just tell him not to hook up, after all, he was looking to do it before I was and he's the homie.
So now I'm just conflicted.....
Are we going to share her? Am I just being a pussy? Should I claim her? Do either of us have a chance at claiming her?
Fuck balls.
tit ass shit water
I hate everyone
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Long Walk Today
I walked from 9th and Judah, down through Golden Gate Park to Amoeba Records in the Haight, walked to Haight and Divis, turned and walked through Castro and reached Noe Valley.
My feet are blistered and aching. Thankfully I took a shower and cleaned up, so they don't hurt as much as they did.
Listened to plenty of Stevie, Teddy, Sunshine Anderson, and other stuff. I swear, without music these walks would be terrible. Thankfully I have my trusty broken iPod that only plays in one ear, so I use a mono adapter.
I called Michael and told him about my walk, and he didn't really care, then he tells me he told his friend and dad about a dramatic text message I sent him, and I got angry and told him to stop relaying things I tell him to other people. Then he says to me, "listen, I don't have to be talking to you at all," and I lost it, and pointed out to him that whenever he calls me (when he's out and about), I talk to him just because he needs some entertainment. Then here he has the audacity to threaten to hang up on me. Two timing little shit face, fuck you.
So I realized, on these walks, I've developed a sense of independence. It sounds lame just writing it, but I'm in my zone, I'm getting fresh air, pumping Stevie Wonder and I don't have to put up with anyone's bullshit.
If anyone gives me shit, I say "fuck you" and I just walk for miles. It does me good to get away from everyone. It feels good.
My feet are blistered and aching. Thankfully I took a shower and cleaned up, so they don't hurt as much as they did.
Listened to plenty of Stevie, Teddy, Sunshine Anderson, and other stuff. I swear, without music these walks would be terrible. Thankfully I have my trusty broken iPod that only plays in one ear, so I use a mono adapter.
I called Michael and told him about my walk, and he didn't really care, then he tells me he told his friend and dad about a dramatic text message I sent him, and I got angry and told him to stop relaying things I tell him to other people. Then he says to me, "listen, I don't have to be talking to you at all," and I lost it, and pointed out to him that whenever he calls me (when he's out and about), I talk to him just because he needs some entertainment. Then here he has the audacity to threaten to hang up on me. Two timing little shit face, fuck you.
So I realized, on these walks, I've developed a sense of independence. It sounds lame just writing it, but I'm in my zone, I'm getting fresh air, pumping Stevie Wonder and I don't have to put up with anyone's bullshit.
If anyone gives me shit, I say "fuck you" and I just walk for miles. It does me good to get away from everyone. It feels good.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
I'm Fucking Doing It!
I'm walking home from school everyday. Today was my third day.
I intend to lose at least 15 pounds in 4 months.
I'm giving myself this deadline so I can ask this girl to prom. I owe it to her and myself to lose a couple, just so I can make a charming case and so I can feel good about myself.
Don't think I'm one of those guys. "Dude, prom, I HAVE to go". This isn't about the sanctity of a high school tradition, this is about a girl I need to impress. I've known her for 4 years, she's a homie, but not once have I legitimately tried to pursue her. Maybe that's because of her Russian boyfriend. Well he's out of the picture, so I'm gonna make my move. Do or die nigga.
I currently weigh like 215-ish. I'm not FAT, by any means, but family friends do say, "boy you've filled out since I last saw you".
"Yeah, have I? Well you're a pussy bitch" then I break my wine glass in their face and take their wallet.
215 isn't a lot, and considering I'm like 6'2", most of the fat goes to my stomach, something I cover up with dress shirts, etc.
In freshman year I was depressed because my cock didn't work, and I just naturally lost weight. I don't know how I did it, but I envy those days...
I was UNDER 200 pounds back then. Well, now I just have to lose them pounds manually.
The walk itself is roughly 3.11 miles (says mapquest), but is relatively easy, until I have to walk up Castro. That hill is a mother fucker. That hill is a passive agressive ass shit that creeps up on you then gets in your face. I ran up that bitch today, showed him what's up.
I'm setting the bar low. 15 pounds, 4 months? easy. I can do better. I assume to lose 15 in like a months then just keep going with the program.
I intend to lose at least 15 pounds in 4 months.
I'm giving myself this deadline so I can ask this girl to prom. I owe it to her and myself to lose a couple, just so I can make a charming case and so I can feel good about myself.
Don't think I'm one of those guys. "Dude, prom, I HAVE to go". This isn't about the sanctity of a high school tradition, this is about a girl I need to impress. I've known her for 4 years, she's a homie, but not once have I legitimately tried to pursue her. Maybe that's because of her Russian boyfriend. Well he's out of the picture, so I'm gonna make my move. Do or die nigga.
I currently weigh like 215-ish. I'm not FAT, by any means, but family friends do say, "boy you've filled out since I last saw you".
"Yeah, have I? Well you're a pussy bitch" then I break my wine glass in their face and take their wallet.
215 isn't a lot, and considering I'm like 6'2", most of the fat goes to my stomach, something I cover up with dress shirts, etc.
In freshman year I was depressed because my cock didn't work, and I just naturally lost weight. I don't know how I did it, but I envy those days...
I was UNDER 200 pounds back then. Well, now I just have to lose them pounds manually.
The walk itself is roughly 3.11 miles (says mapquest), but is relatively easy, until I have to walk up Castro. That hill is a mother fucker. That hill is a passive agressive ass shit that creeps up on you then gets in your face. I ran up that bitch today, showed him what's up.
I'm setting the bar low. 15 pounds, 4 months? easy. I can do better. I assume to lose 15 in like a months then just keep going with the program.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Obama Inaugurated
I watched his speech on ABC, and all the speeches before and some after. That poem sucked. Sorry.
I was glad, you know, that it came to fruition, but I found myself incredibly bored during his speech.
Am I a bad person lol? It was...I don't know, I figured he'd stress the significance of what was really happening (civil rights, being the first black president, shit like that). Maybe some signs that he was happy; something. He had this mean mug on the entire ceremony lol.
Shout out to Itzhak Perlman playing on stage. He's awesome.
Seriously though...why did that woman have to read that poem. She looked like she had a rabbit in her ass, and her poem was just dull as shit.
What the fuck is wrong with me haha. I should be joyous, and I'm bitching about the minor details of the ceremony.
Maybe I just expected it to be really moving/impressive/something I would look back on in 20 years and be like "oh shit".
Or maybe I'm preoccupied with Kirsten Dunst in my head. So cute.
Anyway, I can say I documented my feelings about the Inauguration of the first Black President. stgxg
I was glad, you know, that it came to fruition, but I found myself incredibly bored during his speech.
Am I a bad person lol? It was...I don't know, I figured he'd stress the significance of what was really happening (civil rights, being the first black president, shit like that). Maybe some signs that he was happy; something. He had this mean mug on the entire ceremony lol.
Shout out to Itzhak Perlman playing on stage. He's awesome.
Seriously though...why did that woman have to read that poem. She looked like she had a rabbit in her ass, and her poem was just dull as shit.
What the fuck is wrong with me haha. I should be joyous, and I'm bitching about the minor details of the ceremony.
Maybe I just expected it to be really moving/impressive/something I would look back on in 20 years and be like "oh shit".
Or maybe I'm preoccupied with Kirsten Dunst in my head. So cute.
Anyway, I can say I documented my feelings about the Inauguration of the first Black President. stgxg
Monday, January 19, 2009
List of People Who I Do Not Hate
No order, except for Walken, he really is # 1
1. Christopher Walken
2. Steve Buschemi
3. John Malkovich
4. Gary Oldman
5. Tom Hanks (come on....he's the homie)
6. Bootsy Collins
7. Chris Cooper
8. Nate Dogg
9. Jean Reno (only for The Professional)
10. Kirsten Dunst (wifey)
11. Natalie Portman (mistress)
12. Dr.Dre (The one and only)
13. Kevin Kline
14. Monty Python (entire crew, except for Terry Gilliam...that guy was too weird)
15. Ricky Gervais
16. Cleavland Amory and his cat (they my niggas, r.i.p. lol)
17. The Isley Brothers (circa 1970's)
18. Curtis Mayfield
19. Isaac Hayes
20. Blythe Danner (or whatever the fuck her name is)
21. Dustin Hoffman
22. Gary Neuman (humble)
23. Ben Foster
24. Don Cheadle
25. Mickey Rourke
26. Socrates and Plato (package deal)
27. Gene Wilder
28. Michael
29. Woody Allen
30. Bernie Mac
So basically, I'd take all these people with me to an island, and we'd just chill there.
I don't know what would occur, but I'd be surrounded by people I don't hate. That would be amazing. We wouldn't need to sleep, we'd just have large discussions of all of time.
Closest thing to heaven I can imagine.
1. Christopher Walken
2. Steve Buschemi
3. John Malkovich
4. Gary Oldman
5. Tom Hanks (come on....he's the homie)
6. Bootsy Collins
7. Chris Cooper
8. Nate Dogg
9. Jean Reno (only for The Professional)
10. Kirsten Dunst (wifey)
11. Natalie Portman (mistress)
12. Dr.Dre (The one and only)
13. Kevin Kline
14. Monty Python (entire crew, except for Terry Gilliam...that guy was too weird)
15. Ricky Gervais
16. Cleavland Amory and his cat (they my niggas, r.i.p. lol)
17. The Isley Brothers (circa 1970's)
18. Curtis Mayfield
19. Isaac Hayes
20. Blythe Danner (or whatever the fuck her name is)
21. Dustin Hoffman
22. Gary Neuman (humble)
23. Ben Foster
24. Don Cheadle
25. Mickey Rourke
26. Socrates and Plato (package deal)
27. Gene Wilder
28. Michael
29. Woody Allen
30. Bernie Mac
So basically, I'd take all these people with me to an island, and we'd just chill there.
I don't know what would occur, but I'd be surrounded by people I don't hate. That would be amazing. We wouldn't need to sleep, we'd just have large discussions of all of time.
Closest thing to heaven I can imagine.
Kirsten Dunst is adorable (damnit....)
I rode my bike around my neighborhood on MLK day and bought a couple cheap cds. The Brand New Heavies and Dj Jazzy Jeff's The Magnificent.
And I developed a huge crush on Kirsten Dunst. I shouldn't have, her movies are awful (many of them), but I ended up watching Get Over It this weekend. The movie is cheesy, teen angst ridden and cliche....and I loved it. I don't know what did it for me, the fact that Ben Foster is hilarious or that Kirstin Dunst is just really cute (I still can't believe he's in that movie...fucking AlphaDog-shit-on-your-carpet-Ben Foster).
Either way, I shamefully watched her entire singing scene and then kept watching it repeatedly on Youtube. Unfortunately the only good quality video was with dutch subtitles. starts at :19
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlGI17bMF4g
Why did I not see it before? She's gorgeous. Why am I being a big pansy over a song? I guess I just love those cheesy love ballads.
Then I had fantasies about breaking into the indsutry and being her younger lover. After all, she's like 7 years my senior.
Coincidentally, my friend developed a huge crush on the female star of In Bruges, Clemence Posey. She's cute, but he's been obsessing over her like crazy. I feel his pain. It's not fair.
Idk, this movie got me bummed. I wanted my life to be like this...I need a girl like this...I'm a senior, like him, and I need a girl like this...
Then I realized how shitty Hollywood movies make you feel. I mean jesus, this is not real life. This is a bullshit "how it should be" teen movie formula that makes kids think high school is about getting the girl and that there's a cunt fuck rainbow at the end of every story.
Fuck that shit
Highschool is about getting decent grades and hating everyone and growing up in college. If you get some pussy on the side, great, but don't fucking put it in your planner. You're not gonna find true love, you're not gonna go to prom with the cheerleader and your friends won't be as funny as Colin Hanks or Sisqo.
I'm bitter because I never had that puppy love high school romance yet.
That's why i hate everyone, except for Christopher Walken and Danny Glover. I mean who can hate Danny Glover....look at that guy
And I developed a huge crush on Kirsten Dunst. I shouldn't have, her movies are awful (many of them), but I ended up watching Get Over It this weekend. The movie is cheesy, teen angst ridden and cliche....and I loved it. I don't know what did it for me, the fact that Ben Foster is hilarious or that Kirstin Dunst is just really cute (I still can't believe he's in that movie...fucking AlphaDog-shit-on-your-carpet-Ben Foster).
Either way, I shamefully watched her entire singing scene and then kept watching it repeatedly on Youtube. Unfortunately the only good quality video was with dutch subtitles. starts at :19
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlGI17bMF4g
Why did I not see it before? She's gorgeous. Why am I being a big pansy over a song? I guess I just love those cheesy love ballads.
Then I had fantasies about breaking into the indsutry and being her younger lover. After all, she's like 7 years my senior.
Coincidentally, my friend developed a huge crush on the female star of In Bruges, Clemence Posey. She's cute, but he's been obsessing over her like crazy. I feel his pain. It's not fair.
Idk, this movie got me bummed. I wanted my life to be like this...I need a girl like this...I'm a senior, like him, and I need a girl like this...
Then I realized how shitty Hollywood movies make you feel. I mean jesus, this is not real life. This is a bullshit "how it should be" teen movie formula that makes kids think high school is about getting the girl and that there's a cunt fuck rainbow at the end of every story.
Fuck that shit
Highschool is about getting decent grades and hating everyone and growing up in college. If you get some pussy on the side, great, but don't fucking put it in your planner. You're not gonna find true love, you're not gonna go to prom with the cheerleader and your friends won't be as funny as Colin Hanks or Sisqo.
I'm bitter because I never had that puppy love high school romance yet.
That's why i hate everyone, except for Christopher Walken and Danny Glover. I mean who can hate Danny Glover....look at that guy
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Open House, But No Bitches
My parents left yesterday and won't be back until mid Monday. I have the house to myself, I should be having parties out back and bumping the stereo as loud as I can.
But there are no bitches around this weekend.
NONE.
So the one time when I can actually host people, they're not here, just my guy friends, which is cool but only entertaining for so long.
kongksdngspgnrpgr I'm going out of my mind
But there are no bitches around this weekend.
NONE.
So the one time when I can actually host people, they're not here, just my guy friends, which is cool but only entertaining for so long.
kongksdngspgnrpgr I'm going out of my mind
Thursday, January 15, 2009
I Read a Poem Out Loud in Class Today
We were asked in Poetry class to write a poem based on colorful objects we found around the city. Any color, but they all had to be the same color.
I picked green, wrote about green stuff I saw, and decided I thought it was witty and worth reading to the class
I turned bright red at merely reciting the poem outloud. I realized how pretentious it sounded, and I laughed off my embarrassment by telling my friends in secret that I didn't take the poem seriously, it was supposed to be a joke.
Still....it sucks that's I'm not black. They don't turn red, unless they're light skinned.
Why aren't there more black poets for that reason?
I hate everyone
I picked green, wrote about green stuff I saw, and decided I thought it was witty and worth reading to the class
I turned bright red at merely reciting the poem outloud. I realized how pretentious it sounded, and I laughed off my embarrassment by telling my friends in secret that I didn't take the poem seriously, it was supposed to be a joke.
Still....it sucks that's I'm not black. They don't turn red, unless they're light skinned.
Why aren't there more black poets for that reason?
I hate everyone
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
I pwn douchebag
I don't like saying pwned. It's annoying. But it's fine cause I'm not saying it out loud, I'm just writing it here. This is the ONLY word to describe my victory today, so I'm going to use it with pride.
So this underclassmen thinks he's the shit, and tries to act cool. I'm not gonna lie, he can be funny at times, and he fucked this gorgeous bitch, twice. Nevertheless, Brad is an annoyance and a negative vibe in the community. And today he tried to fucking call me out.
I'm walking down the stairs w/ homies, and this kid (not Brad), bothers me in a joking way about being from the hood, even though I'm not. I don't know, don't ask.
So I wave him away. "Get out of here", jokingly, and his friend, Brad, says to me out of nowhere, "Simon, you're so creepy" and starts to walk away, with this sneer on his face like he's the shit.
Now, if you know me personally, you will admit that I'm a nice guy and I am fair: I live by the golden rule and I don't start fights. I admit that I am strange. 6'4, not very good looking, but I'm nice, and I have a sense of humor.
But if you try and cross me, for no fucking reason, and I don't even know you, then I am going to do something about it. Who wouldn't? It's about respect. I turned to him instantly and said, loudly:
"Brad, you're not sick, and you probably have a small dick..." and then turned back to my friends and walked away.
He didn't say shit!
PWNED!
I win, and it feels great. Even with the virus on my computer......
So this underclassmen thinks he's the shit, and tries to act cool. I'm not gonna lie, he can be funny at times, and he fucked this gorgeous bitch, twice. Nevertheless, Brad is an annoyance and a negative vibe in the community. And today he tried to fucking call me out.
I'm walking down the stairs w/ homies, and this kid (not Brad), bothers me in a joking way about being from the hood, even though I'm not. I don't know, don't ask.
So I wave him away. "Get out of here", jokingly, and his friend, Brad, says to me out of nowhere, "Simon, you're so creepy" and starts to walk away, with this sneer on his face like he's the shit.
Now, if you know me personally, you will admit that I'm a nice guy and I am fair: I live by the golden rule and I don't start fights. I admit that I am strange. 6'4, not very good looking, but I'm nice, and I have a sense of humor.
But if you try and cross me, for no fucking reason, and I don't even know you, then I am going to do something about it. Who wouldn't? It's about respect. I turned to him instantly and said, loudly:
"Brad, you're not sick, and you probably have a small dick..." and then turned back to my friends and walked away.
He didn't say shit!
PWNED!
I win, and it feels great. Even with the virus on my computer......
Virus
I come home and turn on my computer, only to find a flashing message on my desktop that says saying "Warning: you have a virus etc" and something about Third Hands that are trying to retrieve my information.
Fuck
I go to Youtube while I'm doing a virus scan. At the top of the YouTube window says in clear underlined red letters, "your computer is infected with a virus". On fucking youtube. "you should scan it immedeatly.
BITCH TITS AND HARLOT SHITS!
FUCK!
WHAT DID I DO.
I don't download porn. Never have, I stream videos online.
I do download songs off of zShare from time to time. The most recent zshare song i downloaded was the new 50 Cent produced by Primo. And what a shitty song too. I guess shitty songs give you shitty virus's. I deleted it immedeatly.
Maybe this site gave my computer aids. Afterall, I got this blog YESTERDAY and it was YESTERDAY when I got my first error message. I did a virus scan, everything was fine. Then I come home to this.....
I'm in distress. Mood went from fine to gorilla pissed.
Fuck
I go to Youtube while I'm doing a virus scan. At the top of the YouTube window says in clear underlined red letters, "your computer is infected with a virus". On fucking youtube. "you should scan it immedeatly.
BITCH TITS AND HARLOT SHITS!
FUCK!
WHAT DID I DO.
I don't download porn. Never have, I stream videos online.
I do download songs off of zShare from time to time. The most recent zshare song i downloaded was the new 50 Cent produced by Primo. And what a shitty song too. I guess shitty songs give you shitty virus's. I deleted it immedeatly.
Maybe this site gave my computer aids. Afterall, I got this blog YESTERDAY and it was YESTERDAY when I got my first error message. I did a virus scan, everything was fine. Then I come home to this.....
I'm in distress. Mood went from fine to gorilla pissed.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Nintendo's Condom Broke
I'm stuck in the 90's when it comes to video games: I think these companies did their best stuff during this time.
It was simple, and it was fun, and that's what matters. Super Mario World (pictured above) was a classic, could not be topped.
I discovered what game genie was a couple months ago and ever since I've been fucking with it. You can add codes to games like super jumps or unlimited lives etc.
This is an image of an abomination-- that pink looking angry thing does not exist normally in this game. I created him by mistake, and then spat him out onto a platform where I could view my creation.
He is cursed and blessed: If he touches me, I die. If I swallow him, he is digested almost immediately. Because he is an error in the game, he is angry, naturally. I sat there, in this same spot for 4 minutes, took a shit, came back, and all he did was run back and forth in that same little platform. He's pissed because he doesn't belong; a mistake, an accident that randomly occurred, but he doesn't have the depth or programming to evolve into a civilized video game bad guy.
Why is this blog worthy? It's not, unless you're a retro nerd like me and you can appreciate shit like this. Corruptions in the system tell a story, the fact that I was able to create him is a huge achievement.
That was an articulate and dramatic look at a video game bug. Pretty lame. I will write more of these, but I think that's enough for today. 4 blogs in one day, a little excessive!
Wait This Doesn't Work (Heaven)
So I watched The Green Mile recently (see previous blog, mention of Mr.Jingles), and in the movie there was a scene that sparked a thought.
Tom Hanks is talking to this Indian prisoner, about to die on Death row. The Indian says: "People say heaven is when you return to a time when you were happiest. I used to live with this girl on a mountain, and we would make love and it was fun etc".
I was like "aw that's tender," but then I thought about it.
Hypothetically, a kid, age 3, gets hit by a car, and goes to Heaven. We assume that he goes to a time when he had many happy memories, but think about this: The kid has a mental deficiency, he doesn't know what happiness is. Disabled, I don't know. What memories does he have? What good times are there? Nothing! He's a baby!
okay enough. Now look at this theory.
People have told me (and its been enacted in the cinema plenty of times) that you enter heaven the age you die. If you are 40, and you die, you enter Heaven as a 40 year old. What if you die at 40, but your father died at 16 (improbable but possible). You go to Heaven, you see dad.
"Dad?"
"Who the fuck are you gtfo"
"Oh, I thought you were my dad"
"No, I'm 16 you ninny."
You're in Heaven with your father, but you're 24 years older than he is. It doesn't work.
Another idea. You live to be 60, but around age 30 you get in a coma and suffer severe brain damage and you are a vegetable until death. In Heaven, do you enter as you were when you died? Look at you: fat, unhealthy, inflamed prostate and no memory of what happened to you. That doesn't make sense either.
I know none of this is supposed to make sense (Heaven is up for debate), it's just fun to look at why these theories don't work. I'm not saying I believe, I'm saying the different versions don't work out.
I suppose Heaven is some sort of personal euphoric high that doesn't make sense yet doesn't recognize that you had family or even existed, like a random dream with no characters but lots of plot.
Tom Hanks is talking to this Indian prisoner, about to die on Death row. The Indian says: "People say heaven is when you return to a time when you were happiest. I used to live with this girl on a mountain, and we would make love and it was fun etc".
I was like "aw that's tender," but then I thought about it.
Hypothetically, a kid, age 3, gets hit by a car, and goes to Heaven. We assume that he goes to a time when he had many happy memories, but think about this: The kid has a mental deficiency, he doesn't know what happiness is. Disabled, I don't know. What memories does he have? What good times are there? Nothing! He's a baby!
okay enough. Now look at this theory.
People have told me (and its been enacted in the cinema plenty of times) that you enter heaven the age you die. If you are 40, and you die, you enter Heaven as a 40 year old. What if you die at 40, but your father died at 16 (improbable but possible). You go to Heaven, you see dad.
"Dad?"
"Who the fuck are you gtfo"
"Oh, I thought you were my dad"
"No, I'm 16 you ninny."
You're in Heaven with your father, but you're 24 years older than he is. It doesn't work.
Another idea. You live to be 60, but around age 30 you get in a coma and suffer severe brain damage and you are a vegetable until death. In Heaven, do you enter as you were when you died? Look at you: fat, unhealthy, inflamed prostate and no memory of what happened to you. That doesn't make sense either.
I know none of this is supposed to make sense (Heaven is up for debate), it's just fun to look at why these theories don't work. I'm not saying I believe, I'm saying the different versions don't work out.
I suppose Heaven is some sort of personal euphoric high that doesn't make sense yet doesn't recognize that you had family or even existed, like a random dream with no characters but lots of plot.
Vain Hos
Today I get out of class early, so I hop on the bus and grab a nice seat in the back.
It's mid January but it feels like summer. San Francisco is weird like that. The air feels like a summer in Spain I experienced, perfect temperature, no wind, no heat.
I'm content, playing Fatal Fury mobile on my phone (not a great game but its really entertaining) when a conglomeration of humans wade onto the bus. My Spaniard weather dies quickly, like Mr.Jingles when Percy smashes him with his boot, except my Spaniard wasn't resurrected. Now it's hot, and it smells like people. Fuck.
During all this, two girls walk down the bus and go near me. One sits down, the other stands, her butt in my face. I can't see either of their faces, but this ass is nice. Tight jeans, it even SMELLS good. And to my joy, she can't sit still, unconsciously rubbing her bottom on my arm, my hand, my shoulder and almost my face, if I had bent down a bit.
I take advantage of her fidgeting and position my arm so it got full coverage of her cheeks, or stick my knuckle out so it would poke the perfect shape. I can't directly touch it; every motion has to pass off as "We're on the bus, its crowded, everyone is tired so don't act like i mean to do any of this." With any luck, she'll realize what she's doing and correct her mistake. Not too soon, I hope.
Hey, she started it.
Anyway, this is all fun and shit, but I can't have nearly as much fun because I have to listen to what her stupid friend has to say.
"Oh my god, I talked to Kevin cause like, I knew that it was still awkward between us, but like lately he's been kind of pimply and I'm not trying to go there lol"
or
"You can talk to Tatiana because she's been pretty sketch with me. Plus like, she ate a LOT over winter break and she's just mad at me cause she got fat lol"
What a vain bitch. A Vain ho. Just a vain distraction. And how rude, while i'm getting an unconscious lap dance that she interrupt me with her squabble. It's like a bird chirping quietly.....AND THEN LOUD but then quietly again....and quiet....but then LOUDER STILL AUFHFCHF.
Suddenly I realize: I can never get with these women. 1, she has a body, but look at her friend. She's a stupid cow, talks smack on her other friends, a miserable human being. I'm a nice guy, but i can't change a woman to how I see fit. And I don't want to get with a girl if she has friends like this.
Nay.
I walk towards the door to get off and stare at the lap dance girl. She's Asian? I don't know. Decent. Probably nicer than her friend, although maybe I'm just saying that cause she introduced me to her ass. Not worth my time though.
It's mid January but it feels like summer. San Francisco is weird like that. The air feels like a summer in Spain I experienced, perfect temperature, no wind, no heat.
I'm content, playing Fatal Fury mobile on my phone (not a great game but its really entertaining) when a conglomeration of humans wade onto the bus. My Spaniard weather dies quickly, like Mr.Jingles when Percy smashes him with his boot, except my Spaniard wasn't resurrected. Now it's hot, and it smells like people. Fuck.
During all this, two girls walk down the bus and go near me. One sits down, the other stands, her butt in my face. I can't see either of their faces, but this ass is nice. Tight jeans, it even SMELLS good. And to my joy, she can't sit still, unconsciously rubbing her bottom on my arm, my hand, my shoulder and almost my face, if I had bent down a bit.
I take advantage of her fidgeting and position my arm so it got full coverage of her cheeks, or stick my knuckle out so it would poke the perfect shape. I can't directly touch it; every motion has to pass off as "We're on the bus, its crowded, everyone is tired so don't act like i mean to do any of this." With any luck, she'll realize what she's doing and correct her mistake. Not too soon, I hope.
Hey, she started it.
Anyway, this is all fun and shit, but I can't have nearly as much fun because I have to listen to what her stupid friend has to say.
"Oh my god, I talked to Kevin cause like, I knew that it was still awkward between us, but like lately he's been kind of pimply and I'm not trying to go there lol"
or
"You can talk to Tatiana because she's been pretty sketch with me. Plus like, she ate a LOT over winter break and she's just mad at me cause she got fat lol"
What a vain bitch. A Vain ho. Just a vain distraction. And how rude, while i'm getting an unconscious lap dance that she interrupt me with her squabble. It's like a bird chirping quietly.....AND THEN LOUD but then quietly again....and quiet....but then LOUDER STILL AUFHFCHF.
Suddenly I realize: I can never get with these women. 1, she has a body, but look at her friend. She's a stupid cow, talks smack on her other friends, a miserable human being. I'm a nice guy, but i can't change a woman to how I see fit. And I don't want to get with a girl if she has friends like this.
Nay.
I walk towards the door to get off and stare at the lap dance girl. She's Asian? I don't know. Decent. Probably nicer than her friend, although maybe I'm just saying that cause she introduced me to her ass. Not worth my time though.
I Told Myself I wouldn't Do This
ew
blogs
I told myself, "That's so lame and egocentric". I'd like to think I'm humble; that I don't need to broadcast my troubles to people and what not.
But I owe it to myself to blog. I have too many good stories from life and my head.
Hopefully people will enjoy them. This will act as a story diary, a collection of ideas and parables that I come across.
I don't want to be another dude who has a selfish blog and is a douche, but that transformation is inevitable. I can already feel it happening.
mood: saucy!
blogs
I told myself, "That's so lame and egocentric". I'd like to think I'm humble; that I don't need to broadcast my troubles to people and what not.
But I owe it to myself to blog. I have too many good stories from life and my head.
Hopefully people will enjoy them. This will act as a story diary, a collection of ideas and parables that I come across.
I don't want to be another dude who has a selfish blog and is a douche, but that transformation is inevitable. I can already feel it happening.
mood: saucy!
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