Yeah that was a little fuckin scary. My fat ass collected more fat and at one point I was 205. But I checked today and now I'm back to 195, so I don't know what the fuck is going on, but I'm sticking to fruit and vegetables for now. And some bread.
I'm thinking of seriously pursuing stand up comedy. Not serious as in "FUCK SCHOOL," but serious as in "hey I should give this a shot, keep my options open,". People say i'm funny, I know i'm funny, and I am always talking to my self in the shower about weird shit. What I would have to do is go onstage without my glasses. Then I can't see anyone, and it's liek they're not even there. They don't exist, I just hear people talking. Then I can fall off the stage and get in a coma hey cool! Yeah!
Because I'm a little iffy with music. Right now it's my major, but more and more I'm thinking "god fuck music...I don't want to be doing this in college." I don't want to get graded for it. I don't know; it's just stressful as a nigga. I gotta stop saying nigga. Nigga.
I go to college on the 22nd. I talked to my roommate. He seems like a so cal bro, but it's all good. I'd a snobby San Francisco douche so it's good for me to expand my horizons. I don't expect to be best friends with the guy but it can't hurt to be on good terms.
I'm going to miss my cat, I realized. She's getting old. She can't jump on surfaces very well anymore. She's the best. When you die, you're going on up to kitty heaven, you'll have a seat next to Kitty Jesus. Where are you anyway, I'm going to wake you up and annoy you with kisses.
I'm going camping with my friends before we all leave. I hate camping. I'm going to bring whiskey to numb the pain of mosquitos gnawing at my leg.
I'm reading Pastouralia by George Saunders. I was told to read this in Junior year of highschool because my teacher said I write like him, but I was too lazy. Walked to City Lights the other day and finally got it, it's great. A lot of good stories in there.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
i hate my friends
all of them
i hate all of them lol. I don't like any of my friends. Which is good i guess because im going to college and making new ones.
In the meantime it's either hang out with my dick head friends who at this point are not my friends or do nothing.
And I hate my fucking mom. I hate how she fucking patronizes me. and she wonder why I get upset.
I have to do an alcohol test online for college, the due date is august 14th, iot takes 3 hours to complete. I tell her, "alright im gonna stop for now". and then she asks,
i hate all of them lol. I don't like any of my friends. Which is good i guess because im going to college and making new ones.
In the meantime it's either hang out with my dick head friends who at this point are not my friends or do nothing.
And I hate my fucking mom. I hate how she fucking patronizes me. and she wonder why I get upset.
I have to do an alcohol test online for college, the due date is august 14th, iot takes 3 hours to complete. I tell her, "alright im gonna stop for now". and then she asks,
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Fuck all of you
Deceitful bastards
fuck all of you
fuck michael, fuck richard, fuck rayz, fuck oshj, fuck all of you
never done shit for me, i done shit for you
fuck all of you.
love, me
FUCK ALL OF YOU
THOUGHT YOU WAS MY FRIENDS, FUCK ALL OF YOU
fuck all of you
fuck michael, fuck richard, fuck rayz, fuck oshj, fuck all of you
never done shit for me, i done shit for you
fuck all of you.
love, me
FUCK ALL OF YOU
THOUGHT YOU WAS MY FRIENDS, FUCK ALL OF YOU
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Fastest Verion of Supa_Sonic EVER!!!!!!!!
Okay so in Oil Ocean Zone there's this glitch where if you jump in this thing then blah blah watch the video:
OMG.
This is, by far, faster than ANY incarnation of Super/Hyper/SuperDooper Sonic I have ever seen. and the best part is, it's in Sonic 2, my favorite game of the series. And this is in NO WAY going to improve my social skills or get me a woman, but I'm having to much fun to think about it.
Now my next task is to figure out if there is a way to duplicate this glitch in other levels, because Oil Ocean Zone sucks. No one likes this level. If they do they are fucking pussies.
Also, look at this.
OMG.
This is, by far, faster than ANY incarnation of Super/Hyper/SuperDooper Sonic I have ever seen. and the best part is, it's in Sonic 2, my favorite game of the series. And this is in NO WAY going to improve my social skills or get me a woman, but I'm having to much fun to think about it.
Now my next task is to figure out if there is a way to duplicate this glitch in other levels, because Oil Ocean Zone sucks. No one likes this level. If they do they are fucking pussies.
Also, look at this.
192 Nigga!!!!
YEUH.
I HAVEN'T even POOPED yet! I'm constipated! When I take a dump, I'll be 180!!!
The comments keep comin, I'll feeling good, this is a great time for me right now.
I HAVEN'T even POOPED yet! I'm constipated! When I take a dump, I'll be 180!!!
The comments keep comin, I'll feeling good, this is a great time for me right now.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Tragedy at the Fountain
I am writing down this event just for the sake of memory. I have moved on, but in 10 years it will be good to look at it.
********************************
Two days after graduation, I went to a friend's graduation party. It was nice, there were brownies, and after the party a friend of mine told me that these girls were celebrating their friend's birthday party, so we decided to join them.
So it was Michael, Myself, Billy, Turtle and Josh (i keep forgetting what I call my friends), and we met up with these girls and it was an interesting drunken night. This girl who I have known since kindergarten, Lion, came up to me, and we talked and drank and she took sips from my booze. And I felt something there. It was faint but it was there.
And we continued to walk until we got into the arboretum, and then we hung out there and drank and smoked cigarettes like there was no tomorrow, blah blah. Lion and I continued to talk, to bond, and I stupidly revealed that I was a virgin. I know. "NICE ONE". I have kicked myself enough for it. But we continued to talk and she told me I ought to go to a theater and see some film that is probably awful but I would have seen it 1,000 times for her. God I'm such a poet.
Meanwhile Billy was talking to someone else, not part of my conversation with Lion, and I paid no attention to him because I was preoccupied. So I decided to go with Lion and some other girls and Billy and this very strange boy we shall call Lucifer (he scares me) into the arboretum, which is against the law but who cares because we're young hip free angsty teenagers.
So during this, some how, Billy began to get closer to Lion. I didn't even realize it, it happened so fast. But somehow he was conjoined with her, and they were inseparable, and I tried numerous times to pull him away and tell him to fuck off but I never went through with it because I knew she was interested at this point.
And then we got to the fountain. And it was beautiful. And we all waded in the water, and as I turned my back, they got close together, and I turned and saw their faces were centimeters away from each other, and that's when I knew, "Oh man. It's over. You can forget it because there's no chance in hell you're going to remedy the situation after that..."
So we walked back and I saw them hang back, but I tried to cockblock. I really, really tried. "Billy, let's go". He said nothing. "BILLY COME ON". "Alright dude in a minute, go ahead!". And that was it.
In my stupidity and rage I pulled her friend aside, and I asked her if Lion had a boyfriend. "Uh..well...she and Billy are doing something." And I died there. I really just died, lol. Game over. The end. You have no more coins.
We all walked back from the arboretum, wet, jolly and over all in a high spirits. and we all said our good byes, and I said "yeah we're gonna see that movie together!" and blah blah and ho hum and during all of this she gave me her number, and I thought it strange but I ignored it.
Then Billy and I turned the corner, and I flipped.
"GOD DAMNIT. HOW COULD YOU. HOW COULD YOU FUCKING DO THAT."
He was confused. "Dude, I didn't know you were into her!" Of course you didn't know. You underestimated me. I have been a loyal, compassionate friend for almost a decade, and you never once thought that I had the potential to be anything but a homely wingman. Of course you didn't know.
And I vented, and kicked things, and unleashed my wrath on everything but Billy. Our friends picked us up in the car and drove to Turtle's house, and they asked me why I wasn't saying anything, and I just gritted my teeth and glared with all my rage at the oncoming traffic from my window. In the morning I left early, angry and hurt, and I set off on foot for the journey home. At some point I lost the will to move. I was walking and I realized I couldn't walk anymore. I had to sit on the ground and stare sadly into the street, and you might find this pathetic but I really thought I had something going for me because I FELT something and then it was completely ruined.
Almost a month later, my wounds have healed, but she continues to inhabit my dreams. I wrote a song about the whole ordeal (without words, thank god), with sad brooding guitar, and I'm quite pleased with it. It was theraputic.
I decided to throw a party for my birthday, and I invited Billy, under the condition that he would never mention his relationship with Lion in front of me and that he WOULD NOT partake in romantic embrace on my property. He agreed. Had he said anything different, I would have hunted him down and cracked him in the face.
People began to show up, and pretty soon it was a bustlin party. I went to the door to let some people in, and I saw her blond head behind someone else arriving. She hadn;t seen me. I saw Billy walk up to her and hug her (not the kind of embrace I have a problem with) and I ignored both of them and went outside.
She was drunk. She came to the outside where I was sitting, and she tried to initiate conversation. The only courtesy I gave her was lighting her ciggerette. A friend of mine commented. "You're such a gentleman." I just stared at him and mentally projected the Tragedy at the Fountain into his mind, but he did not recieve it.
Throughout the night I was rude to her. She spilled her bottle. "Oh, did your water break?" and then I walked away. As the part was shutting down, I told people "everyone needs to get out my 12:00, understand?" She tapped my shoulder. "Hey Simon, you know me, we go back a long way, can I stay just a little lon-"
"No. I can't make any exceptions." And I gave her a cold glare and walked away again. I heard her let out a surprised laugh with her friend. I don't give a fuck. You hurt me bitch, you have no idea, and you have a whole lot of nerve in your ovaries to come to my house uninvited.
Not that any of this is her fault, it's Billy's. But it felt good, to banish her from my feelings, as well as my home. I never even kissed her, yet I felt like a scornful ex casting out their former lover, moving on. I am moving on, but I will always remember that horrible night. That was the night I tried; when I had so much hope, only to get a rejection accompanied with a stab in the back. And that fucking fountain. All fountains are ruined for me now. Seriously.
********************************
Two days after graduation, I went to a friend's graduation party. It was nice, there were brownies, and after the party a friend of mine told me that these girls were celebrating their friend's birthday party, so we decided to join them.
So it was Michael, Myself, Billy, Turtle and Josh (i keep forgetting what I call my friends), and we met up with these girls and it was an interesting drunken night. This girl who I have known since kindergarten, Lion, came up to me, and we talked and drank and she took sips from my booze. And I felt something there. It was faint but it was there.
And we continued to walk until we got into the arboretum, and then we hung out there and drank and smoked cigarettes like there was no tomorrow, blah blah. Lion and I continued to talk, to bond, and I stupidly revealed that I was a virgin. I know. "NICE ONE". I have kicked myself enough for it. But we continued to talk and she told me I ought to go to a theater and see some film that is probably awful but I would have seen it 1,000 times for her. God I'm such a poet.
Meanwhile Billy was talking to someone else, not part of my conversation with Lion, and I paid no attention to him because I was preoccupied. So I decided to go with Lion and some other girls and Billy and this very strange boy we shall call Lucifer (he scares me) into the arboretum, which is against the law but who cares because we're young hip free angsty teenagers.
So during this, some how, Billy began to get closer to Lion. I didn't even realize it, it happened so fast. But somehow he was conjoined with her, and they were inseparable, and I tried numerous times to pull him away and tell him to fuck off but I never went through with it because I knew she was interested at this point.
And then we got to the fountain. And it was beautiful. And we all waded in the water, and as I turned my back, they got close together, and I turned and saw their faces were centimeters away from each other, and that's when I knew, "Oh man. It's over. You can forget it because there's no chance in hell you're going to remedy the situation after that..."
So we walked back and I saw them hang back, but I tried to cockblock. I really, really tried. "Billy, let's go". He said nothing. "BILLY COME ON". "Alright dude in a minute, go ahead!". And that was it.
In my stupidity and rage I pulled her friend aside, and I asked her if Lion had a boyfriend. "Uh..well...she and Billy are doing something." And I died there. I really just died, lol. Game over. The end. You have no more coins.
We all walked back from the arboretum, wet, jolly and over all in a high spirits. and we all said our good byes, and I said "yeah we're gonna see that movie together!" and blah blah and ho hum and during all of this she gave me her number, and I thought it strange but I ignored it.
Then Billy and I turned the corner, and I flipped.
"GOD DAMNIT. HOW COULD YOU. HOW COULD YOU FUCKING DO THAT."
He was confused. "Dude, I didn't know you were into her!" Of course you didn't know. You underestimated me. I have been a loyal, compassionate friend for almost a decade, and you never once thought that I had the potential to be anything but a homely wingman. Of course you didn't know.
And I vented, and kicked things, and unleashed my wrath on everything but Billy. Our friends picked us up in the car and drove to Turtle's house, and they asked me why I wasn't saying anything, and I just gritted my teeth and glared with all my rage at the oncoming traffic from my window. In the morning I left early, angry and hurt, and I set off on foot for the journey home. At some point I lost the will to move. I was walking and I realized I couldn't walk anymore. I had to sit on the ground and stare sadly into the street, and you might find this pathetic but I really thought I had something going for me because I FELT something and then it was completely ruined.
Almost a month later, my wounds have healed, but she continues to inhabit my dreams. I wrote a song about the whole ordeal (without words, thank god), with sad brooding guitar, and I'm quite pleased with it. It was theraputic.
I decided to throw a party for my birthday, and I invited Billy, under the condition that he would never mention his relationship with Lion in front of me and that he WOULD NOT partake in romantic embrace on my property. He agreed. Had he said anything different, I would have hunted him down and cracked him in the face.
People began to show up, and pretty soon it was a bustlin party. I went to the door to let some people in, and I saw her blond head behind someone else arriving. She hadn;t seen me. I saw Billy walk up to her and hug her (not the kind of embrace I have a problem with) and I ignored both of them and went outside.
She was drunk. She came to the outside where I was sitting, and she tried to initiate conversation. The only courtesy I gave her was lighting her ciggerette. A friend of mine commented. "You're such a gentleman." I just stared at him and mentally projected the Tragedy at the Fountain into his mind, but he did not recieve it.
Throughout the night I was rude to her. She spilled her bottle. "Oh, did your water break?" and then I walked away. As the part was shutting down, I told people "everyone needs to get out my 12:00, understand?" She tapped my shoulder. "Hey Simon, you know me, we go back a long way, can I stay just a little lon-"
"No. I can't make any exceptions." And I gave her a cold glare and walked away again. I heard her let out a surprised laugh with her friend. I don't give a fuck. You hurt me bitch, you have no idea, and you have a whole lot of nerve in your ovaries to come to my house uninvited.
Not that any of this is her fault, it's Billy's. But it felt good, to banish her from my feelings, as well as my home. I never even kissed her, yet I felt like a scornful ex casting out their former lover, moving on. I am moving on, but I will always remember that horrible night. That was the night I tried; when I had so much hope, only to get a rejection accompanied with a stab in the back. And that fucking fountain. All fountains are ruined for me now. Seriously.
I am 194 pounds
I honestly don't know how I did it.
I have been 200 and over since 2005. I have basically stayed the same weight, at one point I was 225. Those were the bad years.
Anyhow, I starting my walking program around sometime after the New Year. This had me walking home from school, walking to friend's houses. At one point I walking 9 miles, 4.5 both ways in one day.
none of this really had an effect on me, then I went to Europe. It's strange, I tried to change my diet on thatr trip but also ended up eating a lot of bad food (but delicious). Then when I returned home, some how I was 197. This was a holy-fucking- shit moment for me.
So then after that I decided, "shit. I need to keep this up." So for the past couple days I have jogged a couple miles every day and walked significantly in that same day. I have also varied my eating habits: I try to eat fruit, vegetables, and lots of them. Then I'll eat chicken for protein.
So this morning I got on the scale (before I took a dump) assuming I had gone from 197 to 196.
No, I have dropped down to 194 pounds.
Well, the results of this are great. Three people have commented so far, strongly, without me telling any of them about my exercise routine. Does this mean I am god's gift to women? No, but it really fucking helps my self esteem when people tell me I look like I have lost some weight.
So anyway, I'm going to jog everyday now and just keep it up. My goal is 185 pounds. My only worry is that my knees could suffer from jogging on concrete.
This is going to sound awful, but I by chance happened to listen to Annie Lennox on my dad's ipod, and I found it is REALLY good jogging music.
I have been 200 and over since 2005. I have basically stayed the same weight, at one point I was 225. Those were the bad years.
Anyhow, I starting my walking program around sometime after the New Year. This had me walking home from school, walking to friend's houses. At one point I walking 9 miles, 4.5 both ways in one day.
none of this really had an effect on me, then I went to Europe. It's strange, I tried to change my diet on thatr trip but also ended up eating a lot of bad food (but delicious). Then when I returned home, some how I was 197. This was a holy-fucking- shit moment for me.
So then after that I decided, "shit. I need to keep this up." So for the past couple days I have jogged a couple miles every day and walked significantly in that same day. I have also varied my eating habits: I try to eat fruit, vegetables, and lots of them. Then I'll eat chicken for protein.
So this morning I got on the scale (before I took a dump) assuming I had gone from 197 to 196.
No, I have dropped down to 194 pounds.
Well, the results of this are great. Three people have commented so far, strongly, without me telling any of them about my exercise routine. Does this mean I am god's gift to women? No, but it really fucking helps my self esteem when people tell me I look like I have lost some weight.
So anyway, I'm going to jog everyday now and just keep it up. My goal is 185 pounds. My only worry is that my knees could suffer from jogging on concrete.
This is going to sound awful, but I by chance happened to listen to Annie Lennox on my dad's ipod, and I found it is REALLY good jogging music.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Sonic 2 OHOOGHOGOHOh
Why is this a big deal?Two super characters on screen at the same time.
Technically IMMPOSSIBLE!!!!!
"Shake" The Gap Band
I forgot about this song.
Shake - The Gap Band
I garentee it will improve your mood, and make you feel like a balla ass nigga. And if it doesn't, fuck you.
Shake - The Gap Band
I garentee it will improve your mood, and make you feel like a balla ass nigga. And if it doesn't, fuck you.
Sonic 2HOLY SHIT OMHG
I've been playing a lot more Sonic 2 lately. Yesterday I came upon some breakthrough discoveries. As you notice above, Tails has a shield. To do this, you must first get a shield as Sonic, then use debug mode and hit a transfer box. This will switch the shield from Sonic to Tails. This does not affect Tails at all, although he keeps the shield until the end of the level. The same method works with invincibility and Super Sonic.
Holy shit we are unstoppable!
And if I go super, Tails' shield turns yellow. This is because Sonic shares his palette with the blue shield, and thus if he becomes yellow, the shield does too.
This also does not affect game play whatsoever, but it looks fucking savage.
I spent 3 hours playing around with this. 3 hours. Fuck me lol.
Everything after may 2> may 2 and prior
I know I am a douche. I re-read my old postings. I sound like a douche. I KNEW this would happen.
But anyway, I'm turning over a new leaf. College is coming, and with that will be less douche-y blog posts.
But anyway, I'm turning over a new leaf. College is coming, and with that will be less douche-y blog posts.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
New Venom Comic Released by Marvel
Yeah, new Venom one shot released by Marvel, not drawn by me. Some people are calling it "amateur", but I think it's pretty cool.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
8 Bit Theatre Is Not Funny
I remember seeing the 8-bit Theatre comics around 2003 or so and thinking they were really unfunny. 6 years later, I'm thinking the exact same thing.
I don't know what it is about internet nerds and their lack of funny-ness, but it's rampant among them. Some web comics are pretty good, xkcd and Perry Bible being some of them, but you notice that those guys are actually artists, aka putting in more than half an hour into a single comic.
Look at the comic above. Considering I haven't seen any of these in many years, I am technically "out of the loop", but even if I have missed a lot of reoccurring jokes or themes, technically this comic should be funny on it's own without the reader knowing previous references. That's why in the newspaper, if a comic has a story about a cat running away (i don't know) on Monday, On Tuesday the continuation of that comic will have a small recap.
But going back to why these aren't funny. Look at this. Tell me if you understand what's going on. From what I can tell, it's a guy throwing people into the sky one by one. Okay, so I do understand it, but that doesn't mean it's not stupid. That's one reason why this is not funny: the author is using sprites to communicate something, but it doesn't work. There are no facial expressions, it's just slightly edited face in every panel. Going back to xkcd, that guy has minimalist artwork, but he makes details clear. He doesn't draw faces on his characters, but he can show emotions.
I don't think this is an issue of me "not getting it". I think the comic is stupid, and that's why I'm not reading it.
I don't know what it is about internet nerds and their lack of funny-ness, but it's rampant among them. Some web comics are pretty good, xkcd and Perry Bible being some of them, but you notice that those guys are actually artists, aka putting in more than half an hour into a single comic.
Look at the comic above. Considering I haven't seen any of these in many years, I am technically "out of the loop", but even if I have missed a lot of reoccurring jokes or themes, technically this comic should be funny on it's own without the reader knowing previous references. That's why in the newspaper, if a comic has a story about a cat running away (i don't know) on Monday, On Tuesday the continuation of that comic will have a small recap.
But going back to why these aren't funny. Look at this. Tell me if you understand what's going on. From what I can tell, it's a guy throwing people into the sky one by one. Okay, so I do understand it, but that doesn't mean it's not stupid. That's one reason why this is not funny: the author is using sprites to communicate something, but it doesn't work. There are no facial expressions, it's just slightly edited face in every panel. Going back to xkcd, that guy has minimalist artwork, but he makes details clear. He doesn't draw faces on his characters, but he can show emotions.
I don't think this is an issue of me "not getting it". I think the comic is stupid, and that's why I'm not reading it.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
RFJfcjnf
I am so bored with everything. My weekends have sucked an unusual amount of dick lately, and when going into the week I feel fatigued and sad.
Yesterday I had a audition at a college. It went okay. I'm glad I survived. Anyhow, that night, I came home and did nothing. Apparently there was a party that night. My phone is broken, so no one could get in touch with me.
: I
So now I feel like this week is going to be extra shitty, because I didn't do anything of value on my weekend.
So now I'm going to be grumpy and pissy.
I hate everyone.
fghdfhxdfhndghnxghfnifniiiininifhguffhfhfhhfhfhhfhfhgifgifg888r8r8r8r8r8r88rutrhgfnb
Yesterday I had a audition at a college. It went okay. I'm glad I survived. Anyhow, that night, I came home and did nothing. Apparently there was a party that night. My phone is broken, so no one could get in touch with me.
: I
So now I feel like this week is going to be extra shitty, because I didn't do anything of value on my weekend.
So now I'm going to be grumpy and pissy.
I hate everyone.
fghdfhxdfhndghnxghfnifniiiininifhguffhfhfhhfhfhhfhfhgifgifg888r8r8r8r8r8r88rutrhgfnb
Saturday, March 7, 2009
hella hi
I feel very light.
I'm actually not high at all, just light headed due to a bitch cold. I got it yesterday at the start of my 4 day weekend. Fuckin sucks.
I also have a late essay due yesterday that I might get an extension for monday on a book I didn't finish. This has happened before, but this time I'm actually worried. <: I
I don't know. Must be my cold fuckin with me. Or I have dementia.
I hate everyone.
I'm actually not high at all, just light headed due to a bitch cold. I got it yesterday at the start of my 4 day weekend. Fuckin sucks.
I also have a late essay due yesterday that I might get an extension for monday on a book I didn't finish. This has happened before, but this time I'm actually worried. <: I
I don't know. Must be my cold fuckin with me. Or I have dementia.
I hate everyone.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Kids (1995)
Las night I was really bored, so my friend M came over and we rented Kids, the 1995 movie about the spreading of AIDS among the youth in New York City. At the time, Kids was so disturbing and graphic for audiences that it was rated NC-17. In this film, I wasn't the least bit bothered by it. In fact, I was laughing through a lot of it.
That's pretty fucked up, but it was so funny because the characters reminded me of people I've hung out with. The two main dudes would walk around drinking 40's, smoking blunts and pissing on walls. They don't give a fuck about anything; the city is like one big playground. The only difference between them and us is that we go to private school and arn't as tough.
One scene, for example:
Guy1: Let's go to Paul's house
Guy2: Paul? Why? That dude's a fag.
Guy1: Yeah but he always has hella food and shit at his house
Guy2: Oh yeah. Okay let's go.
This is like, a quote lifted DIRECTLY from my life!
The main issue with the film is that Guy1 (Telly) has been spreading HIV to every girl he fucks. And he specifically likes virgins. He doesn't know he has HIV of course, but he's too stupid to get tested. The kid is basically an asshole.
"Nah dude, condoms are wack"
lol...
I think I wasn't as disturbed by it because I am as old as the main characters, and thus, I know about this shit. People smoke, drink, steal. People also have sex. But in 2008, they always use a condom, unless they are incredibly dumb, in which case, that sucks for them.
I liked the film. I liked how they used kids with basically no acting experience. The dialouge felt real, for the most part, and the kids were perfect. And the setting just seems so fun, so carefree.
I think I completely missed the point of the movie. But at least I enjoyed it.
That's pretty fucked up, but it was so funny because the characters reminded me of people I've hung out with. The two main dudes would walk around drinking 40's, smoking blunts and pissing on walls. They don't give a fuck about anything; the city is like one big playground. The only difference between them and us is that we go to private school and arn't as tough.
One scene, for example:
Guy1: Let's go to Paul's house
Guy2: Paul? Why? That dude's a fag.
Guy1: Yeah but he always has hella food and shit at his house
Guy2: Oh yeah. Okay let's go.
This is like, a quote lifted DIRECTLY from my life!
The main issue with the film is that Guy1 (Telly) has been spreading HIV to every girl he fucks. And he specifically likes virgins. He doesn't know he has HIV of course, but he's too stupid to get tested. The kid is basically an asshole.
"Nah dude, condoms are wack"
lol...
I think I wasn't as disturbed by it because I am as old as the main characters, and thus, I know about this shit. People smoke, drink, steal. People also have sex. But in 2008, they always use a condom, unless they are incredibly dumb, in which case, that sucks for them.
I liked the film. I liked how they used kids with basically no acting experience. The dialouge felt real, for the most part, and the kids were perfect. And the setting just seems so fun, so carefree.
I think I completely missed the point of the movie. But at least I enjoyed it.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Weed Dude
Weeeeeeed
Weeeeeeed dude, weeeeeed
God, shut up.
My friend said (when he thought I was asleep) "dude, he's been really lame tonight," because I didn't want to smoke with him.
Another friend said I "bitched out really hard" for the same reason
Wow. Really? You're mad at me cause I won't smoke with you?
Why don't you both blow each other and then take a bong hit.
Fucking stoners think they're "cultured", lol.
This why I must always question my friends. They turn on me/douche at me (douche- to act like a dick for no reason), and I am left feeling angry. Why am I friends with these people?
Thank god college is coming soon, and thank god I can walk away from this bullshit.
Weeeeeeed dude, weeeeeed
God, shut up.
My friend said (when he thought I was asleep) "dude, he's been really lame tonight," because I didn't want to smoke with him.
Another friend said I "bitched out really hard" for the same reason
Wow. Really? You're mad at me cause I won't smoke with you?
Why don't you both blow each other and then take a bong hit.
Fucking stoners think they're "cultured", lol.
This why I must always question my friends. They turn on me/douche at me (douche- to act like a dick for no reason), and I am left feeling angry. Why am I friends with these people?
Thank god college is coming soon, and thank god I can walk away from this bullshit.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
House Party at my House
I am blessed for several reasons
And I got my first kiss. But it was the worst first kiss a man can ever have
So this girl (i forgot what I called her in other posts, we'll call her Sara) is a dick fiend. She loves the cock. A regular Blowjob Betty. But she does this shit secretly, she's been sucking Sam's dick for months, doesn't tell anyone about it. She's just really weird about it.
Anyhow, I walked down with her to a stoop a block from my house and we shared a cigarette, and even though we were "drunk", she kept pestering me with questions.
Sara: So Simon, why don't we hang anymore?
Me: Well, it's like this...
S: Just say it. Just tell me. Be honest.
Me: okay well...
S: for once in your life, tell the truth
She really said that to me. Honest to god, those words came out of her mouth
This bitch kept pestering me to until I told her "i just want to be friends". Then she said "okay, but first" and motioned to her lips. I'm not sure if I went in first or if she did, but we started making out.
This was my fist kiss. I was awful, but she was WORSE. She kept biting my lips, it was so violent. It just felt shitty. Then we stopped and she swore me to secrecy.
"If you tell anyone about this, I'll hurt you in ways you can't imagine"
What the fuck is that?
That's a fucking threat! This bitch is CRAZY.
Later on I was in my alley way, and she comes up to me, informing me about Pukey (who luckily did his business outside), and she's real close and I'm like "okay...are we gonna do this?" and she goes "do what?" and I said "come on Sara", and we did it again.
This time I got a fat boner and put my arms around her. It felt great. Then she pulled away and left.
What's my point? My point is she HUSTLED me. I have never felt so robbed, by anyone. Really, it was like she stripped me of my happiness. I've been moody all day, I have no energy to do anything.
Well fuck her. I don't need a vampire bitch with crazy drama attached to her. If I have to wait till college before I have sex, so be it. I don't want it with Sara.
- Parents were gone
- 1 person barfed
- 1 glass broke
And I got my first kiss. But it was the worst first kiss a man can ever have
So this girl (i forgot what I called her in other posts, we'll call her Sara) is a dick fiend. She loves the cock. A regular Blowjob Betty. But she does this shit secretly, she's been sucking Sam's dick for months, doesn't tell anyone about it. She's just really weird about it.
Anyhow, I walked down with her to a stoop a block from my house and we shared a cigarette, and even though we were "drunk", she kept pestering me with questions.
Sara: So Simon, why don't we hang anymore?
Me: Well, it's like this...
S: Just say it. Just tell me. Be honest.
Me: okay well...
S: for once in your life, tell the truth
She really said that to me. Honest to god, those words came out of her mouth
This bitch kept pestering me to until I told her "i just want to be friends". Then she said "okay, but first" and motioned to her lips. I'm not sure if I went in first or if she did, but we started making out.
This was my fist kiss. I was awful, but she was WORSE. She kept biting my lips, it was so violent. It just felt shitty. Then we stopped and she swore me to secrecy.
"If you tell anyone about this, I'll hurt you in ways you can't imagine"
What the fuck is that?
That's a fucking threat! This bitch is CRAZY.
Later on I was in my alley way, and she comes up to me, informing me about Pukey (who luckily did his business outside), and she's real close and I'm like "okay...are we gonna do this?" and she goes "do what?" and I said "come on Sara", and we did it again.
This time I got a fat boner and put my arms around her. It felt great. Then she pulled away and left.
What's my point? My point is she HUSTLED me. I have never felt so robbed, by anyone. Really, it was like she stripped me of my happiness. I've been moody all day, I have no energy to do anything.
Well fuck her. I don't need a vampire bitch with crazy drama attached to her. If I have to wait till college before I have sex, so be it. I don't want it with Sara.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
No Matter What
You will come off as a goober in your blog
Unless you're really good at this sort of thing and you study other blogs.
I can write funny stories, but often my real life day to day experiences are not that interesting.
With that said, here's a comic I drew tonight
Unless you're really good at this sort of thing and you study other blogs.
I can write funny stories, but often my real life day to day experiences are not that interesting.
With that said, here's a comic I drew tonight
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Eventful Saturday
I walked from Forrest Hill Station with Hero and went to our friend's house. Well, he's not really my friend as much, but he's an ally. I don't hate him.
Chilled there for a minute, I smoked a quality cigar dipped in cognac and sipped my whiskey. Then I walked from his house (Sunset) to mine (Noe Valley).
Later that night I met up with Hero and "Duff", on our way to Will's house. I'm leaving Will's real name unchanged because he's a fool and no other name is appropriate for him. Good guy, he is.
Will had a good amount of people over, although it was a little too congested. Duff and I ran into an old middle school friend and talked about old times. We laughed at him and his funny black antics.
Then I got a call from my friend Chale, who was at a party not far from here. Michael texted me and said he was really drunk, so I knew we had to go.
So we initially walked, then bused, then walked some more. Along the way I told Hero and Duff about how Mam sucked Sam's dick, a lot. I swore them to secrecy, because nobody knows about it, and Mam is really nice and I don't want to hurt her rep. I mean she's basically blow job betty.
Anyway, we get to this second party, Mam picks us up and drives us there. The party was crackin, only because I knew everyone there, I was drunk, and there was HELLA loud music. Shit fucking blew out my ears. Maybe my ears are just pussies.
It was a very "yeah-yeah-highschool-havin-fun" kind of experience. I didn't get my dick sucked. I kissed a girl though, but on the cheek, and it was NOT a serious kiss.
But I had fun, I love everyone in my grade (minus like 10 people) and I'd love to finish off this year with a party at my house.
nothing special, just maybe 30 people, loud music, 1,000 ShamWow's ready for spills and tequilla.
I hate everyone (It's kind of my thing now)
Chilled there for a minute, I smoked a quality cigar dipped in cognac and sipped my whiskey. Then I walked from his house (Sunset) to mine (Noe Valley).
Later that night I met up with Hero and "Duff", on our way to Will's house. I'm leaving Will's real name unchanged because he's a fool and no other name is appropriate for him. Good guy, he is.
Will had a good amount of people over, although it was a little too congested. Duff and I ran into an old middle school friend and talked about old times. We laughed at him and his funny black antics.
Then I got a call from my friend Chale, who was at a party not far from here. Michael texted me and said he was really drunk, so I knew we had to go.
So we initially walked, then bused, then walked some more. Along the way I told Hero and Duff about how Mam sucked Sam's dick, a lot. I swore them to secrecy, because nobody knows about it, and Mam is really nice and I don't want to hurt her rep. I mean she's basically blow job betty.
Anyway, we get to this second party, Mam picks us up and drives us there. The party was crackin, only because I knew everyone there, I was drunk, and there was HELLA loud music. Shit fucking blew out my ears. Maybe my ears are just pussies.
It was a very "yeah-yeah-highschool-havin-fun" kind of experience. I didn't get my dick sucked. I kissed a girl though, but on the cheek, and it was NOT a serious kiss.
But I had fun, I love everyone in my grade (minus like 10 people) and I'd love to finish off this year with a party at my house.
nothing special, just maybe 30 people, loud music, 1,000 ShamWow's ready for spills and tequilla.
I hate everyone (It's kind of my thing now)
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Kanye West
I shouldn't be giving him anymore attention than he already has; and by following through with this post I am taking part in the taboo ritual we call "hating", but I must continue.
What a pretentious douche.
I say this with the utmost respect for his work, up until his most recent album. Graduation had some of the best production I've heard in the last 5 years; innovative and inspiring. It made me jealous, the sounds he was able to make. What a perfect blend of pop and rap! His two prior to Graduation were solid efforts, notably "Jesus Walks" from The College Dropout, because of the talk box and break beat style he threw together. Genius!
His work he did for Scarface, Mobb Deep (Throw Ya Handz Up off of Amerikaz Nightmare), Jay-Z and others were always a treat. If it said produced by Kanye West, I usually got excited. "This should be good," was my initial thought.
Okay, it's important for me to make my issues clear, right off the bat. What better way than to explain what auto tune is.
Auto-tune is a software that was made to edit vocal preformances in the studio. For example, say an artist could not hita certain note, the auto tune comes in and correct this, a slight pitch bend, if you will.
T-Pain debuted by taking this software and abusing it: he made the effect sound obvious, and it inspired a trend. I have respect for him because of this. He was a pioneer, and he did something cool, for hip-hop.
Then, Kanye West takes this same sound that he heard from T-Pain (with Pain's approval), and uses it for his album.
But Kanye goes a step further
Instead of applying this sound to hip hop and r&b, West takes the auto-tune and applies it to arty pop sound scapes. This would have been fine, if he hadn't COMPARED HIMSELF TO THE BEATLES.
The reason why T-Pain gets a pass if because he was the first to use it in that way, and because he doesn't act like he's Aretha Franklin.
Kanye gets nothing but disdain. COMING FROM A GUY who made solid pieces of music with painstaking effort, he gives us this McDonalds fast food bull shit and acts like he's the next Marvin Gaye.
If you can't sing, don't subsititute it for something else. Take the time; learn the craft and then try comparing yourself to establish musicians who spent YEARS of hard work honing their sound. Kanye did this shit in like...what, a year? The release dates between Graduation and 808's are close.
And his reasoning for using it, taken from wikipedia (which was taken from another article):
He considers the technology (auto-tune) "the funnest thing to use" and compared the situation to when he was a child and thought the color pink was cool until someone told him "it was gay." He went on to state how the views of society can rob people of their confidence and self-esteem.
No, you see, the reason why you're getting flac for this because you suck now. Lick your wounds and shut up.
this was a terrible post, I'm sorry
I hate everyone
What a pretentious douche.
I say this with the utmost respect for his work, up until his most recent album. Graduation had some of the best production I've heard in the last 5 years; innovative and inspiring. It made me jealous, the sounds he was able to make. What a perfect blend of pop and rap! His two prior to Graduation were solid efforts, notably "Jesus Walks" from The College Dropout, because of the talk box and break beat style he threw together. Genius!
His work he did for Scarface, Mobb Deep (Throw Ya Handz Up off of Amerikaz Nightmare), Jay-Z and others were always a treat. If it said produced by Kanye West, I usually got excited. "This should be good," was my initial thought.
Okay, it's important for me to make my issues clear, right off the bat. What better way than to explain what auto tune is.
Auto-tune is a software that was made to edit vocal preformances in the studio. For example, say an artist could not hita certain note, the auto tune comes in and correct this, a slight pitch bend, if you will.
T-Pain debuted by taking this software and abusing it: he made the effect sound obvious, and it inspired a trend. I have respect for him because of this. He was a pioneer, and he did something cool, for hip-hop.
Then, Kanye West takes this same sound that he heard from T-Pain (with Pain's approval), and uses it for his album.
But Kanye goes a step further
Instead of applying this sound to hip hop and r&b, West takes the auto-tune and applies it to arty pop sound scapes. This would have been fine, if he hadn't COMPARED HIMSELF TO THE BEATLES.
The reason why T-Pain gets a pass if because he was the first to use it in that way, and because he doesn't act like he's Aretha Franklin.
Kanye gets nothing but disdain. COMING FROM A GUY who made solid pieces of music with painstaking effort, he gives us this McDonalds fast food bull shit and acts like he's the next Marvin Gaye.
If you can't sing, don't subsititute it for something else. Take the time; learn the craft and then try comparing yourself to establish musicians who spent YEARS of hard work honing their sound. Kanye did this shit in like...what, a year? The release dates between Graduation and 808's are close.
And his reasoning for using it, taken from wikipedia (which was taken from another article):
He considers the technology (auto-tune) "the funnest thing to use" and compared the situation to when he was a child and thought the color pink was cool until someone told him "it was gay." He went on to state how the views of society can rob people of their confidence and self-esteem.
No, you see, the reason why you're getting flac for this because you suck now. Lick your wounds and shut up.
this was a terrible post, I'm sorry
I hate everyone
Sunday, February 1, 2009
I'm Finished
Sally, is nothing to me. Not anymore, anyway.
I am moving on, accepting that we are not compatible, and putting a smile on my face.
There is no more weirdness between Sam and I, because there is nothing to be weird about. I don't care about Sally anymore.
So I've buried that shit. Bitch is in the grave, time to move on.
I am moving on, accepting that we are not compatible, and putting a smile on my face.
There is no more weirdness between Sam and I, because there is nothing to be weird about. I don't care about Sally anymore.
So I've buried that shit. Bitch is in the grave, time to move on.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Night of Shame
I planned a bonfire with Sally, unbeknownst to my friend Sam, who is probably fucking her brains out right.....now.
Anyhow, I showed up with some friends, and it already looked grim: Sally was there, her Ex, his Friends, and this annoying girl who looks like a penguin.
"Great," I thought. We'll have a fun ass time, all 7 of us, and I'll be able to mack on her while she sits on her Ex's lap.
Sam finds out about the bonfire and makes his appearance after more friends have showed up. If I didn't say this earlier, Sam is planning to hook up with Sally, today, and this was yesterday. So Sam says what's up to me, etc, and then he sees Sally.
He sees that Sally is drunker than an Indian that fell headfirst into a bucket of whiskey, and he gets excited.
"Oh boy, I'm about to get ym dick sucked!" Then he realizes I'm right there, and that I still like Sally a lot, and "apologizes".
"Oh my bad man," He sees me take a sip of my drink and says, "Yeah, there you go. Drown your sorrows." I got pissed and told him to fuck off.
Later I pull Sam aside and tell him why this is so hard for me. If it had been any other guy that swooped in on her, I would've been sad, but able to recuperate. The fact that Sam is that guy is all the more sickening. I also told him why I care so much, partly because I'm infatuated with her and partly because I want to leave highschool with at least a first kiss to put on my resume. He respectfully understood, and said he felt bad.
I looked at her, and she was a drunken fool. Then she comes up to us, sobbing, and says, "I'm so sorry for everything, I just, I just don't want you to hate me," and I was genuinely disturbed.
"No, no, it's fine, don't worry about it!" I pleaded, not understanding what she was talking about. Then she walked away and moaned and laughed and did all sorts of stupid shit, and that's when I remembered Michael's quote:
"Sally is not a romantic. She doesn't understand the concept, she prefers brief flings and romances, and she won't love you back; not like you love her"
From there it all went downhill. I decided to walk away from the group, sit down, pull my hoody over my eyes, and drink myself into submission.
Friends came over to me, trying to make me feel better. I was defeated, totally and entirely, like somebody took my will to live and crushed it in their hands.
Sally even came up to me, pulled my hoody from out of my face and asked me what's wrong, babbling and such. I didn't say anything, I just stared out misrebly into the distance.
Then she put the hoody over my eyes and forgot about me.
Anyhow, I showed up with some friends, and it already looked grim: Sally was there, her Ex, his Friends, and this annoying girl who looks like a penguin.
"Great," I thought. We'll have a fun ass time, all 7 of us, and I'll be able to mack on her while she sits on her Ex's lap.
Sam finds out about the bonfire and makes his appearance after more friends have showed up. If I didn't say this earlier, Sam is planning to hook up with Sally, today, and this was yesterday. So Sam says what's up to me, etc, and then he sees Sally.
He sees that Sally is drunker than an Indian that fell headfirst into a bucket of whiskey, and he gets excited.
"Oh boy, I'm about to get ym dick sucked!" Then he realizes I'm right there, and that I still like Sally a lot, and "apologizes".
"Oh my bad man," He sees me take a sip of my drink and says, "Yeah, there you go. Drown your sorrows." I got pissed and told him to fuck off.
Later I pull Sam aside and tell him why this is so hard for me. If it had been any other guy that swooped in on her, I would've been sad, but able to recuperate. The fact that Sam is that guy is all the more sickening. I also told him why I care so much, partly because I'm infatuated with her and partly because I want to leave highschool with at least a first kiss to put on my resume. He respectfully understood, and said he felt bad.
I looked at her, and she was a drunken fool. Then she comes up to us, sobbing, and says, "I'm so sorry for everything, I just, I just don't want you to hate me," and I was genuinely disturbed.
"No, no, it's fine, don't worry about it!" I pleaded, not understanding what she was talking about. Then she walked away and moaned and laughed and did all sorts of stupid shit, and that's when I remembered Michael's quote:
"Sally is not a romantic. She doesn't understand the concept, she prefers brief flings and romances, and she won't love you back; not like you love her"
From there it all went downhill. I decided to walk away from the group, sit down, pull my hoody over my eyes, and drink myself into submission.
Friends came over to me, trying to make me feel better. I was defeated, totally and entirely, like somebody took my will to live and crushed it in their hands.
Sally even came up to me, pulled my hoody from out of my face and asked me what's wrong, babbling and such. I didn't say anything, I just stared out misrebly into the distance.
Then she put the hoody over my eyes and forgot about me.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
A Change Is Gonna Come -Sam Cooke
I never really appreciated this song until I learned the story behind it
Cooke wrote it as an answer to Dylan's "Blowin in the Wind", a symbol of the Civil Rights struggle, but I see it differently
The message is very human; everyone can relate to this song
I suppose this is why it has aged so well
Gives me chills every time.
Cooke wrote it as an answer to Dylan's "Blowin in the Wind", a symbol of the Civil Rights struggle, but I see it differently
The message is very human; everyone can relate to this song
I suppose this is why it has aged so well
Gives me chills every time.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Rumors
I told my friend, who we'll call Hero, about my situation with Sam and Sally.
He said, "Don't worry dude, she's not that into him."
I was astounded.
Can it be?
I asked him.
"What do you know!"
Apparently Hero was hanging around school with Sally and this boy called Fool (the guy is a lovable idiot). The three of them were talking about various things, and Fool said, quiet bluntly, as this is his nature, "you know Sam's hella trying to get on you, right?"
Hero says that Sally said she didn't see Sam like that, certianly not as a love interest.
I was temporarily overjoyed when I heard this, but then I asked Hero when this happened.
"Idk. Like 2 weeks ago..."
Fuck
A lot can happen in 2 weeks...
And Sampson is persistant, always sitting with her, talking. Now that he knows I know, I feel like I can't ever talk to her without him being there.
Sampson didn't say a word to me today. I thought he was mad but Michael told me he popped Dextrose before coming to school, and the side effect is paranoia and anger. I guess that explains his mood.
At first I was heartbroken over Sally and sad that she might hook up with my friend, now I just want to flick him out of the way. Starting to piss me off.
I mean FUCK.
Sampson has had plenty of sexual experience. I have none. Sampson's gotten his dick sucked numerous times. I've never kissed a girl.
I NEED THIS MORE THAN HE DOES.
I'M MORE DESERVING OF HER.
I'M BETTER FOR HER THAN HE IS.
If I don't start soon, when will I? College? Find some desperate med student who wants a quick fuck, and mark it off my list?
Sally is tender. Cute. Adorable. Funny. Curvy. An anomaly, as she's not very popular but one of the finest girls at our school.
I hate everyone.
and fuck you too, stupid bitch
He said, "Don't worry dude, she's not that into him."
I was astounded.
Can it be?
I asked him.
"What do you know!"
Apparently Hero was hanging around school with Sally and this boy called Fool (the guy is a lovable idiot). The three of them were talking about various things, and Fool said, quiet bluntly, as this is his nature, "you know Sam's hella trying to get on you, right?"
Hero says that Sally said she didn't see Sam like that, certianly not as a love interest.
I was temporarily overjoyed when I heard this, but then I asked Hero when this happened.
"Idk. Like 2 weeks ago..."
Fuck
A lot can happen in 2 weeks...
And Sampson is persistant, always sitting with her, talking. Now that he knows I know, I feel like I can't ever talk to her without him being there.
Sampson didn't say a word to me today. I thought he was mad but Michael told me he popped Dextrose before coming to school, and the side effect is paranoia and anger. I guess that explains his mood.
At first I was heartbroken over Sally and sad that she might hook up with my friend, now I just want to flick him out of the way. Starting to piss me off.
I mean FUCK.
Sampson has had plenty of sexual experience. I have none. Sampson's gotten his dick sucked numerous times. I've never kissed a girl.
I NEED THIS MORE THAN HE DOES.
I'M MORE DESERVING OF HER.
I'M BETTER FOR HER THAN HE IS.
- Sam jokes around with her. I can make her laugh, hard.
- Sam just wants her pussy. I want to make her happy.
- Sam doesn't see past, "a couple of hookups". I want to form a relationship, I want to treat her right.
If I don't start soon, when will I? College? Find some desperate med student who wants a quick fuck, and mark it off my list?
Sally is tender. Cute. Adorable. Funny. Curvy. An anomaly, as she's not very popular but one of the finest girls at our school.
I hate everyone.
and fuck you too, stupid bitch
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Oh....
Apparently, Sampson and Sally are going to have an all day drug fest, says Michael.
She called him two nights ago.
Michael told me that if he wasn't hanging out with Sampson, Sampson would have gone to her house.
I guess none of this matters anymore.
From now until the end, it's eating, walking, music, and writing. Because I hate everyone.
She called him two nights ago.
Michael told me that if he wasn't hanging out with Sampson, Sampson would have gone to her house.
I guess none of this matters anymore.
From now until the end, it's eating, walking, music, and writing. Because I hate everyone.
I'm 208 Pounds!
So far I've lost 9 pounds, from 217 last week to 208 this morning. And I'm still going!
I'm fucking proud of myself. Last night I went with some friends to this girl's Hotel Birthday party. We got there, the room was incredibly small, and not sick. So I drank some Southern Comfort and just let things take their course.
After an hour we left, and in my drunken urges I said "dude let's get burritos!" Well, luckily one of my friends stopped to get Pizza. Across the street was a shittier pizza place, Cybelle's, and I remembered they had salads, so I went over there and got one.
To top it off, I walked home today. I'm forming good habits!
Unfortunately, there's a deviation in my romantic plans: I talked to my friend, who we will call Sampson, because that sounds funny, and I asked him what his status was with this girl, who we will call Sally.
Apperantly Sampson was planning to hook up with Sally next weekend, and had no idea I was interested. Obviously I was crushed.
Sampson: "Aww...fuck man I didn't know you were trying to get with her."
Me: Yeah, but it's cool man, I mean, I'm gonna take her to prom....what's your longterm plans with her?
Sampson: Oh, I'm just gonna hook up, that's all. I'm not taking her to prom. I'm glad you told me now rather than later...like I'm glad we talked a little about this.
Me: yeah...
Sampson: Ay, are you hella pissed?
I wasn't pissed, more just defeated, because Sampson is one of my closest niggaz and because I really had my hearts set on this girl. But he already had his own plan, before mine.
As I left the party, he said we should talk about it later. I don't know what we can resolve, but I have some selfish assumptions about his plan.
1. Sampson is short. Very short. Like 5'3". I'm 6'4". She's probably like 5'7". He's good looking, but he's still a small fella.
2. Because of his shortness, girls tend to act like he's just a close friend. It sucks for him, but in this case it helps me. Although I'm still like a friend to her as well...
I can't just tell him not to hook up, after all, he was looking to do it before I was and he's the homie.
So now I'm just conflicted.....
Are we going to share her? Am I just being a pussy? Should I claim her? Do either of us have a chance at claiming her?
Fuck balls.
tit ass shit water
I hate everyone
I'm fucking proud of myself. Last night I went with some friends to this girl's Hotel Birthday party. We got there, the room was incredibly small, and not sick. So I drank some Southern Comfort and just let things take their course.
After an hour we left, and in my drunken urges I said "dude let's get burritos!" Well, luckily one of my friends stopped to get Pizza. Across the street was a shittier pizza place, Cybelle's, and I remembered they had salads, so I went over there and got one.
To top it off, I walked home today. I'm forming good habits!
Unfortunately, there's a deviation in my romantic plans: I talked to my friend, who we will call Sampson, because that sounds funny, and I asked him what his status was with this girl, who we will call Sally.
Apperantly Sampson was planning to hook up with Sally next weekend, and had no idea I was interested. Obviously I was crushed.
Sampson: "Aww...fuck man I didn't know you were trying to get with her."
Me: Yeah, but it's cool man, I mean, I'm gonna take her to prom....what's your longterm plans with her?
Sampson: Oh, I'm just gonna hook up, that's all. I'm not taking her to prom. I'm glad you told me now rather than later...like I'm glad we talked a little about this.
Me: yeah...
Sampson: Ay, are you hella pissed?
I wasn't pissed, more just defeated, because Sampson is one of my closest niggaz and because I really had my hearts set on this girl. But he already had his own plan, before mine.
As I left the party, he said we should talk about it later. I don't know what we can resolve, but I have some selfish assumptions about his plan.
1. Sampson is short. Very short. Like 5'3". I'm 6'4". She's probably like 5'7". He's good looking, but he's still a small fella.
2. Because of his shortness, girls tend to act like he's just a close friend. It sucks for him, but in this case it helps me. Although I'm still like a friend to her as well...
I can't just tell him not to hook up, after all, he was looking to do it before I was and he's the homie.
So now I'm just conflicted.....
Are we going to share her? Am I just being a pussy? Should I claim her? Do either of us have a chance at claiming her?
Fuck balls.
tit ass shit water
I hate everyone
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Long Walk Today
I walked from 9th and Judah, down through Golden Gate Park to Amoeba Records in the Haight, walked to Haight and Divis, turned and walked through Castro and reached Noe Valley.
My feet are blistered and aching. Thankfully I took a shower and cleaned up, so they don't hurt as much as they did.
Listened to plenty of Stevie, Teddy, Sunshine Anderson, and other stuff. I swear, without music these walks would be terrible. Thankfully I have my trusty broken iPod that only plays in one ear, so I use a mono adapter.
I called Michael and told him about my walk, and he didn't really care, then he tells me he told his friend and dad about a dramatic text message I sent him, and I got angry and told him to stop relaying things I tell him to other people. Then he says to me, "listen, I don't have to be talking to you at all," and I lost it, and pointed out to him that whenever he calls me (when he's out and about), I talk to him just because he needs some entertainment. Then here he has the audacity to threaten to hang up on me. Two timing little shit face, fuck you.
So I realized, on these walks, I've developed a sense of independence. It sounds lame just writing it, but I'm in my zone, I'm getting fresh air, pumping Stevie Wonder and I don't have to put up with anyone's bullshit.
If anyone gives me shit, I say "fuck you" and I just walk for miles. It does me good to get away from everyone. It feels good.
My feet are blistered and aching. Thankfully I took a shower and cleaned up, so they don't hurt as much as they did.
Listened to plenty of Stevie, Teddy, Sunshine Anderson, and other stuff. I swear, without music these walks would be terrible. Thankfully I have my trusty broken iPod that only plays in one ear, so I use a mono adapter.
I called Michael and told him about my walk, and he didn't really care, then he tells me he told his friend and dad about a dramatic text message I sent him, and I got angry and told him to stop relaying things I tell him to other people. Then he says to me, "listen, I don't have to be talking to you at all," and I lost it, and pointed out to him that whenever he calls me (when he's out and about), I talk to him just because he needs some entertainment. Then here he has the audacity to threaten to hang up on me. Two timing little shit face, fuck you.
So I realized, on these walks, I've developed a sense of independence. It sounds lame just writing it, but I'm in my zone, I'm getting fresh air, pumping Stevie Wonder and I don't have to put up with anyone's bullshit.
If anyone gives me shit, I say "fuck you" and I just walk for miles. It does me good to get away from everyone. It feels good.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
I'm Fucking Doing It!
I'm walking home from school everyday. Today was my third day.
I intend to lose at least 15 pounds in 4 months.
I'm giving myself this deadline so I can ask this girl to prom. I owe it to her and myself to lose a couple, just so I can make a charming case and so I can feel good about myself.
Don't think I'm one of those guys. "Dude, prom, I HAVE to go". This isn't about the sanctity of a high school tradition, this is about a girl I need to impress. I've known her for 4 years, she's a homie, but not once have I legitimately tried to pursue her. Maybe that's because of her Russian boyfriend. Well he's out of the picture, so I'm gonna make my move. Do or die nigga.
I currently weigh like 215-ish. I'm not FAT, by any means, but family friends do say, "boy you've filled out since I last saw you".
"Yeah, have I? Well you're a pussy bitch" then I break my wine glass in their face and take their wallet.
215 isn't a lot, and considering I'm like 6'2", most of the fat goes to my stomach, something I cover up with dress shirts, etc.
In freshman year I was depressed because my cock didn't work, and I just naturally lost weight. I don't know how I did it, but I envy those days...
I was UNDER 200 pounds back then. Well, now I just have to lose them pounds manually.
The walk itself is roughly 3.11 miles (says mapquest), but is relatively easy, until I have to walk up Castro. That hill is a mother fucker. That hill is a passive agressive ass shit that creeps up on you then gets in your face. I ran up that bitch today, showed him what's up.
I'm setting the bar low. 15 pounds, 4 months? easy. I can do better. I assume to lose 15 in like a months then just keep going with the program.
I intend to lose at least 15 pounds in 4 months.
I'm giving myself this deadline so I can ask this girl to prom. I owe it to her and myself to lose a couple, just so I can make a charming case and so I can feel good about myself.
Don't think I'm one of those guys. "Dude, prom, I HAVE to go". This isn't about the sanctity of a high school tradition, this is about a girl I need to impress. I've known her for 4 years, she's a homie, but not once have I legitimately tried to pursue her. Maybe that's because of her Russian boyfriend. Well he's out of the picture, so I'm gonna make my move. Do or die nigga.
I currently weigh like 215-ish. I'm not FAT, by any means, but family friends do say, "boy you've filled out since I last saw you".
"Yeah, have I? Well you're a pussy bitch" then I break my wine glass in their face and take their wallet.
215 isn't a lot, and considering I'm like 6'2", most of the fat goes to my stomach, something I cover up with dress shirts, etc.
In freshman year I was depressed because my cock didn't work, and I just naturally lost weight. I don't know how I did it, but I envy those days...
I was UNDER 200 pounds back then. Well, now I just have to lose them pounds manually.
The walk itself is roughly 3.11 miles (says mapquest), but is relatively easy, until I have to walk up Castro. That hill is a mother fucker. That hill is a passive agressive ass shit that creeps up on you then gets in your face. I ran up that bitch today, showed him what's up.
I'm setting the bar low. 15 pounds, 4 months? easy. I can do better. I assume to lose 15 in like a months then just keep going with the program.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Obama Inaugurated
I watched his speech on ABC, and all the speeches before and some after. That poem sucked. Sorry.
I was glad, you know, that it came to fruition, but I found myself incredibly bored during his speech.
Am I a bad person lol? It was...I don't know, I figured he'd stress the significance of what was really happening (civil rights, being the first black president, shit like that). Maybe some signs that he was happy; something. He had this mean mug on the entire ceremony lol.
Shout out to Itzhak Perlman playing on stage. He's awesome.
Seriously though...why did that woman have to read that poem. She looked like she had a rabbit in her ass, and her poem was just dull as shit.
What the fuck is wrong with me haha. I should be joyous, and I'm bitching about the minor details of the ceremony.
Maybe I just expected it to be really moving/impressive/something I would look back on in 20 years and be like "oh shit".
Or maybe I'm preoccupied with Kirsten Dunst in my head. So cute.
Anyway, I can say I documented my feelings about the Inauguration of the first Black President. stgxg
I was glad, you know, that it came to fruition, but I found myself incredibly bored during his speech.
Am I a bad person lol? It was...I don't know, I figured he'd stress the significance of what was really happening (civil rights, being the first black president, shit like that). Maybe some signs that he was happy; something. He had this mean mug on the entire ceremony lol.
Shout out to Itzhak Perlman playing on stage. He's awesome.
Seriously though...why did that woman have to read that poem. She looked like she had a rabbit in her ass, and her poem was just dull as shit.
What the fuck is wrong with me haha. I should be joyous, and I'm bitching about the minor details of the ceremony.
Maybe I just expected it to be really moving/impressive/something I would look back on in 20 years and be like "oh shit".
Or maybe I'm preoccupied with Kirsten Dunst in my head. So cute.
Anyway, I can say I documented my feelings about the Inauguration of the first Black President. stgxg
Monday, January 19, 2009
List of People Who I Do Not Hate
No order, except for Walken, he really is # 1
1. Christopher Walken
2. Steve Buschemi
3. John Malkovich
4. Gary Oldman
5. Tom Hanks (come on....he's the homie)
6. Bootsy Collins
7. Chris Cooper
8. Nate Dogg
9. Jean Reno (only for The Professional)
10. Kirsten Dunst (wifey)
11. Natalie Portman (mistress)
12. Dr.Dre (The one and only)
13. Kevin Kline
14. Monty Python (entire crew, except for Terry Gilliam...that guy was too weird)
15. Ricky Gervais
16. Cleavland Amory and his cat (they my niggas, r.i.p. lol)
17. The Isley Brothers (circa 1970's)
18. Curtis Mayfield
19. Isaac Hayes
20. Blythe Danner (or whatever the fuck her name is)
21. Dustin Hoffman
22. Gary Neuman (humble)
23. Ben Foster
24. Don Cheadle
25. Mickey Rourke
26. Socrates and Plato (package deal)
27. Gene Wilder
28. Michael
29. Woody Allen
30. Bernie Mac
So basically, I'd take all these people with me to an island, and we'd just chill there.
I don't know what would occur, but I'd be surrounded by people I don't hate. That would be amazing. We wouldn't need to sleep, we'd just have large discussions of all of time.
Closest thing to heaven I can imagine.
1. Christopher Walken
2. Steve Buschemi
3. John Malkovich
4. Gary Oldman
5. Tom Hanks (come on....he's the homie)
6. Bootsy Collins
7. Chris Cooper
8. Nate Dogg
9. Jean Reno (only for The Professional)
10. Kirsten Dunst (wifey)
11. Natalie Portman (mistress)
12. Dr.Dre (The one and only)
13. Kevin Kline
14. Monty Python (entire crew, except for Terry Gilliam...that guy was too weird)
15. Ricky Gervais
16. Cleavland Amory and his cat (they my niggas, r.i.p. lol)
17. The Isley Brothers (circa 1970's)
18. Curtis Mayfield
19. Isaac Hayes
20. Blythe Danner (or whatever the fuck her name is)
21. Dustin Hoffman
22. Gary Neuman (humble)
23. Ben Foster
24. Don Cheadle
25. Mickey Rourke
26. Socrates and Plato (package deal)
27. Gene Wilder
28. Michael
29. Woody Allen
30. Bernie Mac
So basically, I'd take all these people with me to an island, and we'd just chill there.
I don't know what would occur, but I'd be surrounded by people I don't hate. That would be amazing. We wouldn't need to sleep, we'd just have large discussions of all of time.
Closest thing to heaven I can imagine.
Kirsten Dunst is adorable (damnit....)
I rode my bike around my neighborhood on MLK day and bought a couple cheap cds. The Brand New Heavies and Dj Jazzy Jeff's The Magnificent.
And I developed a huge crush on Kirsten Dunst. I shouldn't have, her movies are awful (many of them), but I ended up watching Get Over It this weekend. The movie is cheesy, teen angst ridden and cliche....and I loved it. I don't know what did it for me, the fact that Ben Foster is hilarious or that Kirstin Dunst is just really cute (I still can't believe he's in that movie...fucking AlphaDog-shit-on-your-carpet-Ben Foster).
Either way, I shamefully watched her entire singing scene and then kept watching it repeatedly on Youtube. Unfortunately the only good quality video was with dutch subtitles. starts at :19
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlGI17bMF4g
Why did I not see it before? She's gorgeous. Why am I being a big pansy over a song? I guess I just love those cheesy love ballads.
Then I had fantasies about breaking into the indsutry and being her younger lover. After all, she's like 7 years my senior.
Coincidentally, my friend developed a huge crush on the female star of In Bruges, Clemence Posey. She's cute, but he's been obsessing over her like crazy. I feel his pain. It's not fair.
Idk, this movie got me bummed. I wanted my life to be like this...I need a girl like this...I'm a senior, like him, and I need a girl like this...
Then I realized how shitty Hollywood movies make you feel. I mean jesus, this is not real life. This is a bullshit "how it should be" teen movie formula that makes kids think high school is about getting the girl and that there's a cunt fuck rainbow at the end of every story.
Fuck that shit
Highschool is about getting decent grades and hating everyone and growing up in college. If you get some pussy on the side, great, but don't fucking put it in your planner. You're not gonna find true love, you're not gonna go to prom with the cheerleader and your friends won't be as funny as Colin Hanks or Sisqo.
I'm bitter because I never had that puppy love high school romance yet.
That's why i hate everyone, except for Christopher Walken and Danny Glover. I mean who can hate Danny Glover....look at that guy
And I developed a huge crush on Kirsten Dunst. I shouldn't have, her movies are awful (many of them), but I ended up watching Get Over It this weekend. The movie is cheesy, teen angst ridden and cliche....and I loved it. I don't know what did it for me, the fact that Ben Foster is hilarious or that Kirstin Dunst is just really cute (I still can't believe he's in that movie...fucking AlphaDog-shit-on-your-carpet-Ben Foster).
Either way, I shamefully watched her entire singing scene and then kept watching it repeatedly on Youtube. Unfortunately the only good quality video was with dutch subtitles. starts at :19
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlGI17bMF4g
Why did I not see it before? She's gorgeous. Why am I being a big pansy over a song? I guess I just love those cheesy love ballads.
Then I had fantasies about breaking into the indsutry and being her younger lover. After all, she's like 7 years my senior.
Coincidentally, my friend developed a huge crush on the female star of In Bruges, Clemence Posey. She's cute, but he's been obsessing over her like crazy. I feel his pain. It's not fair.
Idk, this movie got me bummed. I wanted my life to be like this...I need a girl like this...I'm a senior, like him, and I need a girl like this...
Then I realized how shitty Hollywood movies make you feel. I mean jesus, this is not real life. This is a bullshit "how it should be" teen movie formula that makes kids think high school is about getting the girl and that there's a cunt fuck rainbow at the end of every story.
Fuck that shit
Highschool is about getting decent grades and hating everyone and growing up in college. If you get some pussy on the side, great, but don't fucking put it in your planner. You're not gonna find true love, you're not gonna go to prom with the cheerleader and your friends won't be as funny as Colin Hanks or Sisqo.
I'm bitter because I never had that puppy love high school romance yet.
That's why i hate everyone, except for Christopher Walken and Danny Glover. I mean who can hate Danny Glover....look at that guy
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Open House, But No Bitches
My parents left yesterday and won't be back until mid Monday. I have the house to myself, I should be having parties out back and bumping the stereo as loud as I can.
But there are no bitches around this weekend.
NONE.
So the one time when I can actually host people, they're not here, just my guy friends, which is cool but only entertaining for so long.
kongksdngspgnrpgr I'm going out of my mind
But there are no bitches around this weekend.
NONE.
So the one time when I can actually host people, they're not here, just my guy friends, which is cool but only entertaining for so long.
kongksdngspgnrpgr I'm going out of my mind
Thursday, January 15, 2009
I Read a Poem Out Loud in Class Today
We were asked in Poetry class to write a poem based on colorful objects we found around the city. Any color, but they all had to be the same color.
I picked green, wrote about green stuff I saw, and decided I thought it was witty and worth reading to the class
I turned bright red at merely reciting the poem outloud. I realized how pretentious it sounded, and I laughed off my embarrassment by telling my friends in secret that I didn't take the poem seriously, it was supposed to be a joke.
Still....it sucks that's I'm not black. They don't turn red, unless they're light skinned.
Why aren't there more black poets for that reason?
I hate everyone
I picked green, wrote about green stuff I saw, and decided I thought it was witty and worth reading to the class
I turned bright red at merely reciting the poem outloud. I realized how pretentious it sounded, and I laughed off my embarrassment by telling my friends in secret that I didn't take the poem seriously, it was supposed to be a joke.
Still....it sucks that's I'm not black. They don't turn red, unless they're light skinned.
Why aren't there more black poets for that reason?
I hate everyone
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
I pwn douchebag
I don't like saying pwned. It's annoying. But it's fine cause I'm not saying it out loud, I'm just writing it here. This is the ONLY word to describe my victory today, so I'm going to use it with pride.
So this underclassmen thinks he's the shit, and tries to act cool. I'm not gonna lie, he can be funny at times, and he fucked this gorgeous bitch, twice. Nevertheless, Brad is an annoyance and a negative vibe in the community. And today he tried to fucking call me out.
I'm walking down the stairs w/ homies, and this kid (not Brad), bothers me in a joking way about being from the hood, even though I'm not. I don't know, don't ask.
So I wave him away. "Get out of here", jokingly, and his friend, Brad, says to me out of nowhere, "Simon, you're so creepy" and starts to walk away, with this sneer on his face like he's the shit.
Now, if you know me personally, you will admit that I'm a nice guy and I am fair: I live by the golden rule and I don't start fights. I admit that I am strange. 6'4, not very good looking, but I'm nice, and I have a sense of humor.
But if you try and cross me, for no fucking reason, and I don't even know you, then I am going to do something about it. Who wouldn't? It's about respect. I turned to him instantly and said, loudly:
"Brad, you're not sick, and you probably have a small dick..." and then turned back to my friends and walked away.
He didn't say shit!
PWNED!
I win, and it feels great. Even with the virus on my computer......
So this underclassmen thinks he's the shit, and tries to act cool. I'm not gonna lie, he can be funny at times, and he fucked this gorgeous bitch, twice. Nevertheless, Brad is an annoyance and a negative vibe in the community. And today he tried to fucking call me out.
I'm walking down the stairs w/ homies, and this kid (not Brad), bothers me in a joking way about being from the hood, even though I'm not. I don't know, don't ask.
So I wave him away. "Get out of here", jokingly, and his friend, Brad, says to me out of nowhere, "Simon, you're so creepy" and starts to walk away, with this sneer on his face like he's the shit.
Now, if you know me personally, you will admit that I'm a nice guy and I am fair: I live by the golden rule and I don't start fights. I admit that I am strange. 6'4, not very good looking, but I'm nice, and I have a sense of humor.
But if you try and cross me, for no fucking reason, and I don't even know you, then I am going to do something about it. Who wouldn't? It's about respect. I turned to him instantly and said, loudly:
"Brad, you're not sick, and you probably have a small dick..." and then turned back to my friends and walked away.
He didn't say shit!
PWNED!
I win, and it feels great. Even with the virus on my computer......
Virus
I come home and turn on my computer, only to find a flashing message on my desktop that says saying "Warning: you have a virus etc" and something about Third Hands that are trying to retrieve my information.
Fuck
I go to Youtube while I'm doing a virus scan. At the top of the YouTube window says in clear underlined red letters, "your computer is infected with a virus". On fucking youtube. "you should scan it immedeatly.
BITCH TITS AND HARLOT SHITS!
FUCK!
WHAT DID I DO.
I don't download porn. Never have, I stream videos online.
I do download songs off of zShare from time to time. The most recent zshare song i downloaded was the new 50 Cent produced by Primo. And what a shitty song too. I guess shitty songs give you shitty virus's. I deleted it immedeatly.
Maybe this site gave my computer aids. Afterall, I got this blog YESTERDAY and it was YESTERDAY when I got my first error message. I did a virus scan, everything was fine. Then I come home to this.....
I'm in distress. Mood went from fine to gorilla pissed.
Fuck
I go to Youtube while I'm doing a virus scan. At the top of the YouTube window says in clear underlined red letters, "your computer is infected with a virus". On fucking youtube. "you should scan it immedeatly.
BITCH TITS AND HARLOT SHITS!
FUCK!
WHAT DID I DO.
I don't download porn. Never have, I stream videos online.
I do download songs off of zShare from time to time. The most recent zshare song i downloaded was the new 50 Cent produced by Primo. And what a shitty song too. I guess shitty songs give you shitty virus's. I deleted it immedeatly.
Maybe this site gave my computer aids. Afterall, I got this blog YESTERDAY and it was YESTERDAY when I got my first error message. I did a virus scan, everything was fine. Then I come home to this.....
I'm in distress. Mood went from fine to gorilla pissed.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Nintendo's Condom Broke
I'm stuck in the 90's when it comes to video games: I think these companies did their best stuff during this time.
It was simple, and it was fun, and that's what matters. Super Mario World (pictured above) was a classic, could not be topped.
I discovered what game genie was a couple months ago and ever since I've been fucking with it. You can add codes to games like super jumps or unlimited lives etc.
This is an image of an abomination-- that pink looking angry thing does not exist normally in this game. I created him by mistake, and then spat him out onto a platform where I could view my creation.
He is cursed and blessed: If he touches me, I die. If I swallow him, he is digested almost immediately. Because he is an error in the game, he is angry, naturally. I sat there, in this same spot for 4 minutes, took a shit, came back, and all he did was run back and forth in that same little platform. He's pissed because he doesn't belong; a mistake, an accident that randomly occurred, but he doesn't have the depth or programming to evolve into a civilized video game bad guy.
Why is this blog worthy? It's not, unless you're a retro nerd like me and you can appreciate shit like this. Corruptions in the system tell a story, the fact that I was able to create him is a huge achievement.
That was an articulate and dramatic look at a video game bug. Pretty lame. I will write more of these, but I think that's enough for today. 4 blogs in one day, a little excessive!
Wait This Doesn't Work (Heaven)
So I watched The Green Mile recently (see previous blog, mention of Mr.Jingles), and in the movie there was a scene that sparked a thought.
Tom Hanks is talking to this Indian prisoner, about to die on Death row. The Indian says: "People say heaven is when you return to a time when you were happiest. I used to live with this girl on a mountain, and we would make love and it was fun etc".
I was like "aw that's tender," but then I thought about it.
Hypothetically, a kid, age 3, gets hit by a car, and goes to Heaven. We assume that he goes to a time when he had many happy memories, but think about this: The kid has a mental deficiency, he doesn't know what happiness is. Disabled, I don't know. What memories does he have? What good times are there? Nothing! He's a baby!
okay enough. Now look at this theory.
People have told me (and its been enacted in the cinema plenty of times) that you enter heaven the age you die. If you are 40, and you die, you enter Heaven as a 40 year old. What if you die at 40, but your father died at 16 (improbable but possible). You go to Heaven, you see dad.
"Dad?"
"Who the fuck are you gtfo"
"Oh, I thought you were my dad"
"No, I'm 16 you ninny."
You're in Heaven with your father, but you're 24 years older than he is. It doesn't work.
Another idea. You live to be 60, but around age 30 you get in a coma and suffer severe brain damage and you are a vegetable until death. In Heaven, do you enter as you were when you died? Look at you: fat, unhealthy, inflamed prostate and no memory of what happened to you. That doesn't make sense either.
I know none of this is supposed to make sense (Heaven is up for debate), it's just fun to look at why these theories don't work. I'm not saying I believe, I'm saying the different versions don't work out.
I suppose Heaven is some sort of personal euphoric high that doesn't make sense yet doesn't recognize that you had family or even existed, like a random dream with no characters but lots of plot.
Tom Hanks is talking to this Indian prisoner, about to die on Death row. The Indian says: "People say heaven is when you return to a time when you were happiest. I used to live with this girl on a mountain, and we would make love and it was fun etc".
I was like "aw that's tender," but then I thought about it.
Hypothetically, a kid, age 3, gets hit by a car, and goes to Heaven. We assume that he goes to a time when he had many happy memories, but think about this: The kid has a mental deficiency, he doesn't know what happiness is. Disabled, I don't know. What memories does he have? What good times are there? Nothing! He's a baby!
okay enough. Now look at this theory.
People have told me (and its been enacted in the cinema plenty of times) that you enter heaven the age you die. If you are 40, and you die, you enter Heaven as a 40 year old. What if you die at 40, but your father died at 16 (improbable but possible). You go to Heaven, you see dad.
"Dad?"
"Who the fuck are you gtfo"
"Oh, I thought you were my dad"
"No, I'm 16 you ninny."
You're in Heaven with your father, but you're 24 years older than he is. It doesn't work.
Another idea. You live to be 60, but around age 30 you get in a coma and suffer severe brain damage and you are a vegetable until death. In Heaven, do you enter as you were when you died? Look at you: fat, unhealthy, inflamed prostate and no memory of what happened to you. That doesn't make sense either.
I know none of this is supposed to make sense (Heaven is up for debate), it's just fun to look at why these theories don't work. I'm not saying I believe, I'm saying the different versions don't work out.
I suppose Heaven is some sort of personal euphoric high that doesn't make sense yet doesn't recognize that you had family or even existed, like a random dream with no characters but lots of plot.
Vain Hos
Today I get out of class early, so I hop on the bus and grab a nice seat in the back.
It's mid January but it feels like summer. San Francisco is weird like that. The air feels like a summer in Spain I experienced, perfect temperature, no wind, no heat.
I'm content, playing Fatal Fury mobile on my phone (not a great game but its really entertaining) when a conglomeration of humans wade onto the bus. My Spaniard weather dies quickly, like Mr.Jingles when Percy smashes him with his boot, except my Spaniard wasn't resurrected. Now it's hot, and it smells like people. Fuck.
During all this, two girls walk down the bus and go near me. One sits down, the other stands, her butt in my face. I can't see either of their faces, but this ass is nice. Tight jeans, it even SMELLS good. And to my joy, she can't sit still, unconsciously rubbing her bottom on my arm, my hand, my shoulder and almost my face, if I had bent down a bit.
I take advantage of her fidgeting and position my arm so it got full coverage of her cheeks, or stick my knuckle out so it would poke the perfect shape. I can't directly touch it; every motion has to pass off as "We're on the bus, its crowded, everyone is tired so don't act like i mean to do any of this." With any luck, she'll realize what she's doing and correct her mistake. Not too soon, I hope.
Hey, she started it.
Anyway, this is all fun and shit, but I can't have nearly as much fun because I have to listen to what her stupid friend has to say.
"Oh my god, I talked to Kevin cause like, I knew that it was still awkward between us, but like lately he's been kind of pimply and I'm not trying to go there lol"
or
"You can talk to Tatiana because she's been pretty sketch with me. Plus like, she ate a LOT over winter break and she's just mad at me cause she got fat lol"
What a vain bitch. A Vain ho. Just a vain distraction. And how rude, while i'm getting an unconscious lap dance that she interrupt me with her squabble. It's like a bird chirping quietly.....AND THEN LOUD but then quietly again....and quiet....but then LOUDER STILL AUFHFCHF.
Suddenly I realize: I can never get with these women. 1, she has a body, but look at her friend. She's a stupid cow, talks smack on her other friends, a miserable human being. I'm a nice guy, but i can't change a woman to how I see fit. And I don't want to get with a girl if she has friends like this.
Nay.
I walk towards the door to get off and stare at the lap dance girl. She's Asian? I don't know. Decent. Probably nicer than her friend, although maybe I'm just saying that cause she introduced me to her ass. Not worth my time though.
It's mid January but it feels like summer. San Francisco is weird like that. The air feels like a summer in Spain I experienced, perfect temperature, no wind, no heat.
I'm content, playing Fatal Fury mobile on my phone (not a great game but its really entertaining) when a conglomeration of humans wade onto the bus. My Spaniard weather dies quickly, like Mr.Jingles when Percy smashes him with his boot, except my Spaniard wasn't resurrected. Now it's hot, and it smells like people. Fuck.
During all this, two girls walk down the bus and go near me. One sits down, the other stands, her butt in my face. I can't see either of their faces, but this ass is nice. Tight jeans, it even SMELLS good. And to my joy, she can't sit still, unconsciously rubbing her bottom on my arm, my hand, my shoulder and almost my face, if I had bent down a bit.
I take advantage of her fidgeting and position my arm so it got full coverage of her cheeks, or stick my knuckle out so it would poke the perfect shape. I can't directly touch it; every motion has to pass off as "We're on the bus, its crowded, everyone is tired so don't act like i mean to do any of this." With any luck, she'll realize what she's doing and correct her mistake. Not too soon, I hope.
Hey, she started it.
Anyway, this is all fun and shit, but I can't have nearly as much fun because I have to listen to what her stupid friend has to say.
"Oh my god, I talked to Kevin cause like, I knew that it was still awkward between us, but like lately he's been kind of pimply and I'm not trying to go there lol"
or
"You can talk to Tatiana because she's been pretty sketch with me. Plus like, she ate a LOT over winter break and she's just mad at me cause she got fat lol"
What a vain bitch. A Vain ho. Just a vain distraction. And how rude, while i'm getting an unconscious lap dance that she interrupt me with her squabble. It's like a bird chirping quietly.....AND THEN LOUD but then quietly again....and quiet....but then LOUDER STILL AUFHFCHF.
Suddenly I realize: I can never get with these women. 1, she has a body, but look at her friend. She's a stupid cow, talks smack on her other friends, a miserable human being. I'm a nice guy, but i can't change a woman to how I see fit. And I don't want to get with a girl if she has friends like this.
Nay.
I walk towards the door to get off and stare at the lap dance girl. She's Asian? I don't know. Decent. Probably nicer than her friend, although maybe I'm just saying that cause she introduced me to her ass. Not worth my time though.
I Told Myself I wouldn't Do This
ew
blogs
I told myself, "That's so lame and egocentric". I'd like to think I'm humble; that I don't need to broadcast my troubles to people and what not.
But I owe it to myself to blog. I have too many good stories from life and my head.
Hopefully people will enjoy them. This will act as a story diary, a collection of ideas and parables that I come across.
I don't want to be another dude who has a selfish blog and is a douche, but that transformation is inevitable. I can already feel it happening.
mood: saucy!
blogs
I told myself, "That's so lame and egocentric". I'd like to think I'm humble; that I don't need to broadcast my troubles to people and what not.
But I owe it to myself to blog. I have too many good stories from life and my head.
Hopefully people will enjoy them. This will act as a story diary, a collection of ideas and parables that I come across.
I don't want to be another dude who has a selfish blog and is a douche, but that transformation is inevitable. I can already feel it happening.
mood: saucy!
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