Tragedy at the Fountain

I am writing down this event just for the sake of memory. I have moved on, but in 10 years it will be good to look at it.

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Two days after graduation, I went to a friend's graduation party. It was nice, there were brownies, and after the party a friend of mine told me that these girls were celebrating their friend's birthday party, so we decided to join them.

So it was Michael, Myself, Billy, Turtle and Josh (i keep forgetting what I call my friends), and we met up with these girls and it was an interesting drunken night. This girl who I have known since kindergarten, Lion, came up to me, and we talked and drank and she took sips from my booze. And I felt something there. It was faint but it was there.

And we continued to walk until we got into the arboretum, and then we hung out there and drank and smoked cigarettes like there was no tomorrow, blah blah. Lion and I continued to talk, to bond, and I stupidly revealed that I was a virgin. I know. "NICE ONE". I have kicked myself enough for it. But we continued to talk and she told me I ought to go to a theater and see some film that is probably awful but I would have seen it 1,000 times for her. God I'm such a poet.

Meanwhile Billy was talking to someone else, not part of my conversation with Lion, and I paid no attention to him because I was preoccupied. So I decided to go with Lion and some other girls and Billy and this very strange boy we shall call Lucifer (he scares me) into the arboretum, which is against the law but who cares because we're young hip free angsty teenagers.

So during this, some how, Billy began to get closer to Lion. I didn't even realize it, it happened so fast. But somehow he was conjoined with her, and they were inseparable, and I tried numerous times to pull him away and tell him to fuck off but I never went through with it because I knew she was interested at this point.

And then we got to the fountain. And it was beautiful. And we all waded in the water, and as I turned my back, they got close together, and I turned and saw their faces were centimeters away from each other, and that's when I knew, "Oh man. It's over. You can forget it because there's no chance in hell you're going to remedy the situation after that..."

So we walked back and I saw them hang back, but I tried to cockblock. I really, really tried. "Billy, let's go". He said nothing. "BILLY COME ON". "Alright dude in a minute, go ahead!". And that was it.

In my stupidity and rage I pulled her friend aside, and I asked her if Lion had a boyfriend. "Uh..well...she and Billy are doing something." And I died there. I really just died, lol. Game over. The end. You have no more coins.

We all walked back from the arboretum, wet, jolly and over all in a high spirits. and we all said our good byes, and I said "yeah we're gonna see that movie together!" and blah blah and ho hum and during all of this she gave me her number, and I thought it strange but I ignored it.

Then Billy and I turned the corner, and I flipped.

"GOD DAMNIT. HOW COULD YOU. HOW COULD YOU FUCKING DO THAT."

He was confused. "Dude, I didn't know you were into her!" Of course you didn't know. You underestimated me. I have been a loyal, compassionate friend for almost a decade, and you never once thought that I had the potential to be anything but a homely wingman. Of course you didn't know.

And I vented, and kicked things, and unleashed my wrath on everything but Billy. Our friends picked us up in the car and drove to Turtle's house, and they asked me why I wasn't saying anything, and I just gritted my teeth and glared with all my rage at the oncoming traffic from my window. In the morning I left early, angry and hurt, and I set off on foot for the journey home. At some point I lost the will to move. I was walking and I realized I couldn't walk anymore. I had to sit on the ground and stare sadly into the street, and you might find this pathetic but I really thought I had something going for me because I FELT something and then it was completely ruined.

Almost a month later, my wounds have healed, but she continues to inhabit my dreams. I wrote a song about the whole ordeal (without words, thank god), with sad brooding guitar, and I'm quite pleased with it. It was theraputic.

I decided to throw a party for my birthday, and I invited Billy, under the condition that he would never mention his relationship with Lion in front of me and that he WOULD NOT partake in romantic embrace on my property. He agreed. Had he said anything different, I would have hunted him down and cracked him in the face.

People began to show up, and pretty soon it was a bustlin party. I went to the door to let some people in, and I saw her blond head behind someone else arriving. She hadn;t seen me. I saw Billy walk up to her and hug her (not the kind of embrace I have a problem with) and I ignored both of them and went outside.

She was drunk. She came to the outside where I was sitting, and she tried to initiate conversation. The only courtesy I gave her was lighting her ciggerette. A friend of mine commented. "You're such a gentleman." I just stared at him and mentally projected the Tragedy at the Fountain into his mind, but he did not recieve it.

Throughout the night I was rude to her. She spilled her bottle. "Oh, did your water break?" and then I walked away. As the part was shutting down, I told people "everyone needs to get out my 12:00, understand?" She tapped my shoulder. "Hey Simon, you know me, we go back a long way, can I stay just a little lon-"

"No. I can't make any exceptions." And I gave her a cold glare and walked away again. I heard her let out a surprised laugh with her friend. I don't give a fuck. You hurt me bitch, you have no idea, and you have a whole lot of nerve in your ovaries to come to my house uninvited.

Not that any of this is her fault, it's Billy's. But it felt good, to banish her from my feelings, as well as my home. I never even kissed her, yet I felt like a scornful ex casting out their former lover, moving on. I am moving on, but I will always remember that horrible night. That was the night I tried; when I had so much hope, only to get a rejection accompanied with a stab in the back. And that fucking fountain. All fountains are ruined for me now. Seriously.