Weeeeeeed
Weeeeeeed dude, weeeeeed
God, shut up.
My friend said (when he thought I was asleep) "dude, he's been really lame tonight," because I didn't want to smoke with him.
Another friend said I "bitched out really hard" for the same reason
Wow. Really? You're mad at me cause I won't smoke with you?
Why don't you both blow each other and then take a bong hit.
Fucking stoners think they're "cultured", lol.
This why I must always question my friends. They turn on me/douche at me (douche- to act like a dick for no reason), and I am left feeling angry. Why am I friends with these people?
Thank god college is coming soon, and thank god I can walk away from this bullshit.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
House Party at my House
I am blessed for several reasons
And I got my first kiss. But it was the worst first kiss a man can ever have
So this girl (i forgot what I called her in other posts, we'll call her Sara) is a dick fiend. She loves the cock. A regular Blowjob Betty. But she does this shit secretly, she's been sucking Sam's dick for months, doesn't tell anyone about it. She's just really weird about it.
Anyhow, I walked down with her to a stoop a block from my house and we shared a cigarette, and even though we were "drunk", she kept pestering me with questions.
Sara: So Simon, why don't we hang anymore?
Me: Well, it's like this...
S: Just say it. Just tell me. Be honest.
Me: okay well...
S: for once in your life, tell the truth
She really said that to me. Honest to god, those words came out of her mouth
This bitch kept pestering me to until I told her "i just want to be friends". Then she said "okay, but first" and motioned to her lips. I'm not sure if I went in first or if she did, but we started making out.
This was my fist kiss. I was awful, but she was WORSE. She kept biting my lips, it was so violent. It just felt shitty. Then we stopped and she swore me to secrecy.
"If you tell anyone about this, I'll hurt you in ways you can't imagine"
What the fuck is that?
That's a fucking threat! This bitch is CRAZY.
Later on I was in my alley way, and she comes up to me, informing me about Pukey (who luckily did his business outside), and she's real close and I'm like "okay...are we gonna do this?" and she goes "do what?" and I said "come on Sara", and we did it again.
This time I got a fat boner and put my arms around her. It felt great. Then she pulled away and left.
What's my point? My point is she HUSTLED me. I have never felt so robbed, by anyone. Really, it was like she stripped me of my happiness. I've been moody all day, I have no energy to do anything.
Well fuck her. I don't need a vampire bitch with crazy drama attached to her. If I have to wait till college before I have sex, so be it. I don't want it with Sara.
- Parents were gone
- 1 person barfed
- 1 glass broke
And I got my first kiss. But it was the worst first kiss a man can ever have
So this girl (i forgot what I called her in other posts, we'll call her Sara) is a dick fiend. She loves the cock. A regular Blowjob Betty. But she does this shit secretly, she's been sucking Sam's dick for months, doesn't tell anyone about it. She's just really weird about it.
Anyhow, I walked down with her to a stoop a block from my house and we shared a cigarette, and even though we were "drunk", she kept pestering me with questions.
Sara: So Simon, why don't we hang anymore?
Me: Well, it's like this...
S: Just say it. Just tell me. Be honest.
Me: okay well...
S: for once in your life, tell the truth
She really said that to me. Honest to god, those words came out of her mouth
This bitch kept pestering me to until I told her "i just want to be friends". Then she said "okay, but first" and motioned to her lips. I'm not sure if I went in first or if she did, but we started making out.
This was my fist kiss. I was awful, but she was WORSE. She kept biting my lips, it was so violent. It just felt shitty. Then we stopped and she swore me to secrecy.
"If you tell anyone about this, I'll hurt you in ways you can't imagine"
What the fuck is that?
That's a fucking threat! This bitch is CRAZY.
Later on I was in my alley way, and she comes up to me, informing me about Pukey (who luckily did his business outside), and she's real close and I'm like "okay...are we gonna do this?" and she goes "do what?" and I said "come on Sara", and we did it again.
This time I got a fat boner and put my arms around her. It felt great. Then she pulled away and left.
What's my point? My point is she HUSTLED me. I have never felt so robbed, by anyone. Really, it was like she stripped me of my happiness. I've been moody all day, I have no energy to do anything.
Well fuck her. I don't need a vampire bitch with crazy drama attached to her. If I have to wait till college before I have sex, so be it. I don't want it with Sara.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
No Matter What
You will come off as a goober in your blog
Unless you're really good at this sort of thing and you study other blogs.
I can write funny stories, but often my real life day to day experiences are not that interesting.
With that said, here's a comic I drew tonight
Unless you're really good at this sort of thing and you study other blogs.
I can write funny stories, but often my real life day to day experiences are not that interesting.
With that said, here's a comic I drew tonight
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Eventful Saturday
I walked from Forrest Hill Station with Hero and went to our friend's house. Well, he's not really my friend as much, but he's an ally. I don't hate him.
Chilled there for a minute, I smoked a quality cigar dipped in cognac and sipped my whiskey. Then I walked from his house (Sunset) to mine (Noe Valley).
Later that night I met up with Hero and "Duff", on our way to Will's house. I'm leaving Will's real name unchanged because he's a fool and no other name is appropriate for him. Good guy, he is.
Will had a good amount of people over, although it was a little too congested. Duff and I ran into an old middle school friend and talked about old times. We laughed at him and his funny black antics.
Then I got a call from my friend Chale, who was at a party not far from here. Michael texted me and said he was really drunk, so I knew we had to go.
So we initially walked, then bused, then walked some more. Along the way I told Hero and Duff about how Mam sucked Sam's dick, a lot. I swore them to secrecy, because nobody knows about it, and Mam is really nice and I don't want to hurt her rep. I mean she's basically blow job betty.
Anyway, we get to this second party, Mam picks us up and drives us there. The party was crackin, only because I knew everyone there, I was drunk, and there was HELLA loud music. Shit fucking blew out my ears. Maybe my ears are just pussies.
It was a very "yeah-yeah-highschool-havin-fun" kind of experience. I didn't get my dick sucked. I kissed a girl though, but on the cheek, and it was NOT a serious kiss.
But I had fun, I love everyone in my grade (minus like 10 people) and I'd love to finish off this year with a party at my house.
nothing special, just maybe 30 people, loud music, 1,000 ShamWow's ready for spills and tequilla.
I hate everyone (It's kind of my thing now)
Chilled there for a minute, I smoked a quality cigar dipped in cognac and sipped my whiskey. Then I walked from his house (Sunset) to mine (Noe Valley).
Later that night I met up with Hero and "Duff", on our way to Will's house. I'm leaving Will's real name unchanged because he's a fool and no other name is appropriate for him. Good guy, he is.
Will had a good amount of people over, although it was a little too congested. Duff and I ran into an old middle school friend and talked about old times. We laughed at him and his funny black antics.
Then I got a call from my friend Chale, who was at a party not far from here. Michael texted me and said he was really drunk, so I knew we had to go.
So we initially walked, then bused, then walked some more. Along the way I told Hero and Duff about how Mam sucked Sam's dick, a lot. I swore them to secrecy, because nobody knows about it, and Mam is really nice and I don't want to hurt her rep. I mean she's basically blow job betty.
Anyway, we get to this second party, Mam picks us up and drives us there. The party was crackin, only because I knew everyone there, I was drunk, and there was HELLA loud music. Shit fucking blew out my ears. Maybe my ears are just pussies.
It was a very "yeah-yeah-highschool-havin-fun" kind of experience. I didn't get my dick sucked. I kissed a girl though, but on the cheek, and it was NOT a serious kiss.
But I had fun, I love everyone in my grade (minus like 10 people) and I'd love to finish off this year with a party at my house.
nothing special, just maybe 30 people, loud music, 1,000 ShamWow's ready for spills and tequilla.
I hate everyone (It's kind of my thing now)
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Kanye West
I shouldn't be giving him anymore attention than he already has; and by following through with this post I am taking part in the taboo ritual we call "hating", but I must continue.
What a pretentious douche.
I say this with the utmost respect for his work, up until his most recent album. Graduation had some of the best production I've heard in the last 5 years; innovative and inspiring. It made me jealous, the sounds he was able to make. What a perfect blend of pop and rap! His two prior to Graduation were solid efforts, notably "Jesus Walks" from The College Dropout, because of the talk box and break beat style he threw together. Genius!
His work he did for Scarface, Mobb Deep (Throw Ya Handz Up off of Amerikaz Nightmare), Jay-Z and others were always a treat. If it said produced by Kanye West, I usually got excited. "This should be good," was my initial thought.
Okay, it's important for me to make my issues clear, right off the bat. What better way than to explain what auto tune is.
Auto-tune is a software that was made to edit vocal preformances in the studio. For example, say an artist could not hita certain note, the auto tune comes in and correct this, a slight pitch bend, if you will.
T-Pain debuted by taking this software and abusing it: he made the effect sound obvious, and it inspired a trend. I have respect for him because of this. He was a pioneer, and he did something cool, for hip-hop.
Then, Kanye West takes this same sound that he heard from T-Pain (with Pain's approval), and uses it for his album.
But Kanye goes a step further
Instead of applying this sound to hip hop and r&b, West takes the auto-tune and applies it to arty pop sound scapes. This would have been fine, if he hadn't COMPARED HIMSELF TO THE BEATLES.
The reason why T-Pain gets a pass if because he was the first to use it in that way, and because he doesn't act like he's Aretha Franklin.
Kanye gets nothing but disdain. COMING FROM A GUY who made solid pieces of music with painstaking effort, he gives us this McDonalds fast food bull shit and acts like he's the next Marvin Gaye.
If you can't sing, don't subsititute it for something else. Take the time; learn the craft and then try comparing yourself to establish musicians who spent YEARS of hard work honing their sound. Kanye did this shit in like...what, a year? The release dates between Graduation and 808's are close.
And his reasoning for using it, taken from wikipedia (which was taken from another article):
He considers the technology (auto-tune) "the funnest thing to use" and compared the situation to when he was a child and thought the color pink was cool until someone told him "it was gay." He went on to state how the views of society can rob people of their confidence and self-esteem.
No, you see, the reason why you're getting flac for this because you suck now. Lick your wounds and shut up.
this was a terrible post, I'm sorry
I hate everyone
What a pretentious douche.
I say this with the utmost respect for his work, up until his most recent album. Graduation had some of the best production I've heard in the last 5 years; innovative and inspiring. It made me jealous, the sounds he was able to make. What a perfect blend of pop and rap! His two prior to Graduation were solid efforts, notably "Jesus Walks" from The College Dropout, because of the talk box and break beat style he threw together. Genius!
His work he did for Scarface, Mobb Deep (Throw Ya Handz Up off of Amerikaz Nightmare), Jay-Z and others were always a treat. If it said produced by Kanye West, I usually got excited. "This should be good," was my initial thought.
Okay, it's important for me to make my issues clear, right off the bat. What better way than to explain what auto tune is.
Auto-tune is a software that was made to edit vocal preformances in the studio. For example, say an artist could not hita certain note, the auto tune comes in and correct this, a slight pitch bend, if you will.
T-Pain debuted by taking this software and abusing it: he made the effect sound obvious, and it inspired a trend. I have respect for him because of this. He was a pioneer, and he did something cool, for hip-hop.
Then, Kanye West takes this same sound that he heard from T-Pain (with Pain's approval), and uses it for his album.
But Kanye goes a step further
Instead of applying this sound to hip hop and r&b, West takes the auto-tune and applies it to arty pop sound scapes. This would have been fine, if he hadn't COMPARED HIMSELF TO THE BEATLES.
The reason why T-Pain gets a pass if because he was the first to use it in that way, and because he doesn't act like he's Aretha Franklin.
Kanye gets nothing but disdain. COMING FROM A GUY who made solid pieces of music with painstaking effort, he gives us this McDonalds fast food bull shit and acts like he's the next Marvin Gaye.
If you can't sing, don't subsititute it for something else. Take the time; learn the craft and then try comparing yourself to establish musicians who spent YEARS of hard work honing their sound. Kanye did this shit in like...what, a year? The release dates between Graduation and 808's are close.
And his reasoning for using it, taken from wikipedia (which was taken from another article):
He considers the technology (auto-tune) "the funnest thing to use" and compared the situation to when he was a child and thought the color pink was cool until someone told him "it was gay." He went on to state how the views of society can rob people of their confidence and self-esteem.
No, you see, the reason why you're getting flac for this because you suck now. Lick your wounds and shut up.
this was a terrible post, I'm sorry
I hate everyone
Sunday, February 1, 2009
I'm Finished
Sally, is nothing to me. Not anymore, anyway.
I am moving on, accepting that we are not compatible, and putting a smile on my face.
There is no more weirdness between Sam and I, because there is nothing to be weird about. I don't care about Sally anymore.
So I've buried that shit. Bitch is in the grave, time to move on.
I am moving on, accepting that we are not compatible, and putting a smile on my face.
There is no more weirdness between Sam and I, because there is nothing to be weird about. I don't care about Sally anymore.
So I've buried that shit. Bitch is in the grave, time to move on.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Night of Shame
I planned a bonfire with Sally, unbeknownst to my friend Sam, who is probably fucking her brains out right.....now.
Anyhow, I showed up with some friends, and it already looked grim: Sally was there, her Ex, his Friends, and this annoying girl who looks like a penguin.
"Great," I thought. We'll have a fun ass time, all 7 of us, and I'll be able to mack on her while she sits on her Ex's lap.
Sam finds out about the bonfire and makes his appearance after more friends have showed up. If I didn't say this earlier, Sam is planning to hook up with Sally, today, and this was yesterday. So Sam says what's up to me, etc, and then he sees Sally.
He sees that Sally is drunker than an Indian that fell headfirst into a bucket of whiskey, and he gets excited.
"Oh boy, I'm about to get ym dick sucked!" Then he realizes I'm right there, and that I still like Sally a lot, and "apologizes".
"Oh my bad man," He sees me take a sip of my drink and says, "Yeah, there you go. Drown your sorrows." I got pissed and told him to fuck off.
Later I pull Sam aside and tell him why this is so hard for me. If it had been any other guy that swooped in on her, I would've been sad, but able to recuperate. The fact that Sam is that guy is all the more sickening. I also told him why I care so much, partly because I'm infatuated with her and partly because I want to leave highschool with at least a first kiss to put on my resume. He respectfully understood, and said he felt bad.
I looked at her, and she was a drunken fool. Then she comes up to us, sobbing, and says, "I'm so sorry for everything, I just, I just don't want you to hate me," and I was genuinely disturbed.
"No, no, it's fine, don't worry about it!" I pleaded, not understanding what she was talking about. Then she walked away and moaned and laughed and did all sorts of stupid shit, and that's when I remembered Michael's quote:
"Sally is not a romantic. She doesn't understand the concept, she prefers brief flings and romances, and she won't love you back; not like you love her"
From there it all went downhill. I decided to walk away from the group, sit down, pull my hoody over my eyes, and drink myself into submission.
Friends came over to me, trying to make me feel better. I was defeated, totally and entirely, like somebody took my will to live and crushed it in their hands.
Sally even came up to me, pulled my hoody from out of my face and asked me what's wrong, babbling and such. I didn't say anything, I just stared out misrebly into the distance.
Then she put the hoody over my eyes and forgot about me.
Anyhow, I showed up with some friends, and it already looked grim: Sally was there, her Ex, his Friends, and this annoying girl who looks like a penguin.
"Great," I thought. We'll have a fun ass time, all 7 of us, and I'll be able to mack on her while she sits on her Ex's lap.
Sam finds out about the bonfire and makes his appearance after more friends have showed up. If I didn't say this earlier, Sam is planning to hook up with Sally, today, and this was yesterday. So Sam says what's up to me, etc, and then he sees Sally.
He sees that Sally is drunker than an Indian that fell headfirst into a bucket of whiskey, and he gets excited.
"Oh boy, I'm about to get ym dick sucked!" Then he realizes I'm right there, and that I still like Sally a lot, and "apologizes".
"Oh my bad man," He sees me take a sip of my drink and says, "Yeah, there you go. Drown your sorrows." I got pissed and told him to fuck off.
Later I pull Sam aside and tell him why this is so hard for me. If it had been any other guy that swooped in on her, I would've been sad, but able to recuperate. The fact that Sam is that guy is all the more sickening. I also told him why I care so much, partly because I'm infatuated with her and partly because I want to leave highschool with at least a first kiss to put on my resume. He respectfully understood, and said he felt bad.
I looked at her, and she was a drunken fool. Then she comes up to us, sobbing, and says, "I'm so sorry for everything, I just, I just don't want you to hate me," and I was genuinely disturbed.
"No, no, it's fine, don't worry about it!" I pleaded, not understanding what she was talking about. Then she walked away and moaned and laughed and did all sorts of stupid shit, and that's when I remembered Michael's quote:
"Sally is not a romantic. She doesn't understand the concept, she prefers brief flings and romances, and she won't love you back; not like you love her"
From there it all went downhill. I decided to walk away from the group, sit down, pull my hoody over my eyes, and drink myself into submission.
Friends came over to me, trying to make me feel better. I was defeated, totally and entirely, like somebody took my will to live and crushed it in their hands.
Sally even came up to me, pulled my hoody from out of my face and asked me what's wrong, babbling and such. I didn't say anything, I just stared out misrebly into the distance.
Then she put the hoody over my eyes and forgot about me.
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