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I am so bored with everything. My weekends have sucked an unusual amount of dick lately, and when going into the week I feel fatigued and sad.

Yesterday I had a audition at a college. It went okay. I'm glad I survived. Anyhow, that night, I came home and did nothing. Apparently there was a party that night. My phone is broken, so no one could get in touch with me.

: I


So now I feel like this week is going to be extra shitty, because I didn't do anything of value on my weekend.


So now I'm going to be grumpy and pissy.








I hate everyone.












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hella hi

I feel very light.


I'm actually not high at all, just light headed due to a bitch cold. I got it yesterday at the start of my 4 day weekend. Fuckin sucks.

I also have a late essay due yesterday that I might get an extension for monday on a book I didn't finish. This has happened before, but this time I'm actually worried. <: I


I don't know. Must be my cold fuckin with me. Or I have dementia.




I hate everyone.

Kids (1995)

Las night I was really bored, so my friend M came over and we rented Kids, the 1995 movie about the spreading of AIDS among the youth in New York City. At the time, Kids was so disturbing and graphic for audiences that it was rated NC-17. In this film, I wasn't the least bit bothered by it. In fact, I was laughing through a lot of it.

That's pretty fucked up, but it was so funny because the characters reminded me of people I've hung out with. The two main dudes would walk around drinking 40's, smoking blunts and pissing on walls. They don't give a fuck about anything; the city is like one big playground. The only difference between them and us is that we go to private school and arn't as tough.

One scene, for example:

Guy1: Let's go to Paul's house
Guy2: Paul? Why? That dude's a fag.
Guy1: Yeah but he always has hella food and shit at his house
Guy2: Oh yeah. Okay let's go.

This is like, a quote lifted DIRECTLY from my life!

The main issue with the film is that Guy1 (Telly) has been spreading HIV to every girl he fucks. And he specifically likes virgins. He doesn't know he has HIV of course, but he's too stupid to get tested. The kid is basically an asshole.

"Nah dude, condoms are wack"

lol...


I think I wasn't as disturbed by it because I am as old as the main characters, and thus, I know about this shit. People smoke, drink, steal. People also have sex. But in 2008, they always use a condom, unless they are incredibly dumb, in which case, that sucks for them.

I liked the film. I liked how they used kids with basically no acting experience. The dialouge felt real, for the most part, and the kids were perfect. And the setting just seems so fun, so carefree.


I think I completely missed the point of the movie. But at least I enjoyed it.

Weed Dude

Weeeeeeed

Weeeeeeed dude, weeeeeed


God, shut up.



My friend said (when he thought I was asleep) "dude, he's been really lame tonight," because I didn't want to smoke with him.

Another friend said I "bitched out really hard" for the same reason


Wow. Really? You're mad at me cause I won't smoke with you?


Why don't you both blow each other and then take a bong hit.


Fucking stoners think they're "cultured", lol.



This why I must always question my friends. They turn on me/douche at me (douche- to act like a dick for no reason), and I am left feeling angry. Why am I friends with these people?



Thank god college is coming soon, and thank god I can walk away from this bullshit.

House Party at my House

I am blessed for several reasons

• Parents were gone

• 1 person barfed

• 1 glass broke

And it was a relatively chill party.


And I got my first kiss. But it was the worst first kiss a man can ever have


So this girl (i forgot what I called her in other posts, we'll call her Sara) is a dick fiend. She loves the cock. A regular Blowjob Betty. But she does this shit secretly, she's been sucking Sam's dick for months, doesn't tell anyone about it. She's just really weird about it.

Anyhow, I walked down with her to a stoop a block from my house and we shared a cigarette, and even though we were "drunk", she kept pestering me with questions.

Sara: So Simon, why don't we hang anymore?

Me: Well, it's like this...

S: Just say it. Just tell me. Be honest.

Me: okay well...

S: for once in your life, tell the truth


She really said that to me. Honest to god, those words came out of her mouth

This bitch kept pestering me to until I told her "i just want to be friends". Then she said "okay, but first" and motioned to her lips. I'm not sure if I went in first or if she did, but we started making out.

This was my fist kiss. I was awful, but she was WORSE. She kept biting my lips, it was so violent. It just felt shitty. Then we stopped and she swore me to secrecy.

"If you tell anyone about this, I'll hurt you in ways you can't imagine"

What the fuck is that?

That's a fucking threat! This bitch is CRAZY.


Later on I was in my alley way, and she comes up to me, informing me about Pukey (who luckily did his business outside), and she's real close and I'm like "okay...are we gonna do this?" and she goes "do what?" and I said "come on Sara", and we did it again.

This time I got a fat boner and put my arms around her. It felt great. Then she pulled away and left.


What's my point? My point is she HUSTLED me. I have never felt so robbed, by anyone. Really, it was like she stripped me of my happiness. I've been moody all day, I have no energy to do anything.


Well fuck her. I don't need a vampire bitch with crazy drama attached to her. If I have to wait till college before I have sex, so be it. I don't want it with Sara.

No Matter What

You will come off as a goober in your blog

Unless you're really good at this sort of thing and you study other blogs.

I can write funny stories, but often my real life day to day experiences are not that interesting.

With that said, here's a comic I drew tonight

Eventful Saturday

I walked from Forrest Hill Station with Hero and went to our friend's house. Well, he's not really my friend as much, but he's an ally. I don't hate him.

Chilled there for a minute, I smoked a quality cigar dipped in cognac and sipped my whiskey. Then I walked from his house (Sunset) to mine (Noe Valley).

Later that night I met up with Hero and "Duff", on our way to Will's house. I'm leaving Will's real name unchanged because he's a fool and no other name is appropriate for him. Good guy, he is.

Will had a good amount of people over, although it was a little too congested. Duff and I ran into an old middle school friend and talked about old times. We laughed at him and his funny black antics.


Then I got a call from my friend Chale, who was at a party not far from here. Michael texted me and said he was really drunk, so I knew we had to go.

So we initially walked, then bused, then walked some more. Along the way I told Hero and Duff about how Mam sucked Sam's dick, a lot. I swore them to secrecy, because nobody knows about it, and Mam is really nice and I don't want to hurt her rep. I mean she's basically blow job betty.

Anyway, we get to this second party, Mam picks us up and drives us there. The party was crackin, only because I knew everyone there, I was drunk, and there was HELLA loud music. Shit fucking blew out my ears. Maybe my ears are just pussies.


It was a very "yeah-yeah-highschool-havin-fun" kind of experience. I didn't get my dick sucked. I kissed a girl though, but on the cheek, and it was NOT a serious kiss.


But I had fun, I love everyone in my grade (minus like 10 people) and I'd love to finish off this year with a party at my house.

nothing special, just maybe 30 people, loud music, 1,000 ShamWow's ready for spills and tequilla.


I hate everyone (It's kind of my thing now)