Vain Hos

Today I get out of class early, so I hop on the bus and grab a nice seat in the back.

It's mid January but it feels like summer. San Francisco is weird like that. The air feels like a summer in Spain I experienced, perfect temperature, no wind, no heat.

I'm content, playing Fatal Fury mobile on my phone (not a great game but its really entertaining) when a conglomeration of humans wade onto the bus. My Spaniard weather dies quickly, like Mr.Jingles when Percy smashes him with his boot, except my Spaniard wasn't resurrected. Now it's hot, and it smells like people. Fuck.

During all this, two girls walk down the bus and go near me. One sits down, the other stands, her butt in my face. I can't see either of their faces, but this ass is nice. Tight jeans, it even SMELLS good. And to my joy, she can't sit still, unconsciously rubbing her bottom on my arm, my hand, my shoulder and almost my face, if I had bent down a bit.

I take advantage of her fidgeting and position my arm so it got full coverage of her cheeks, or stick my knuckle out so it would poke the perfect shape. I can't directly touch it; every motion has to pass off as "We're on the bus, its crowded, everyone is tired so don't act like i mean to do any of this." With any luck, she'll realize what she's doing and correct her mistake. Not too soon, I hope.

Hey, she started it.

Anyway, this is all fun and shit, but I can't have nearly as much fun because I have to listen to what her stupid friend has to say.

"Oh my god, I talked to Kevin cause like, I knew that it was still awkward between us, but like lately he's been kind of pimply and I'm not trying to go there lol"

or

"You can talk to Tatiana because she's been pretty sketch with me. Plus like, she ate a LOT over winter break and she's just mad at me cause she got fat lol"

What a vain bitch. A Vain ho. Just a vain distraction. And how rude, while i'm getting an unconscious lap dance that she interrupt me with her squabble. It's like a bird chirping quietly.....AND THEN LOUD but then quietly again....and quiet....but then LOUDER STILL AUFHFCHF.

Suddenly I realize: I can never get with these women. 1, she has a body, but look at her friend. She's a stupid cow, talks smack on her other friends, a miserable human being. I'm a nice guy, but i can't change a woman to how I see fit. And I don't want to get with a girl if she has friends like this.

Nay.

I walk towards the door to get off and stare at the lap dance girl. She's Asian? I don't know. Decent. Probably nicer than her friend, although maybe I'm just saying that cause she introduced me to her ass. Not worth my time though.